Lady Anna List

Ch-ch-ch-changes

2012-02-18T21:56:00.000Z

I've been pondering over my main website for a while now, as well as neglecting it because I was undecided about it. My website has been with me from day one as a PD. As I have developed so has my website mirroring my thoughts, my experiences and even reflecting the sort of callers and clients I have had at any one time.

My prose has been bossy, shouty, stroppy when I was being plagued by the nuisance callers who seem to swarm around a new PD, detailed and instructive when I was trying to show that I knew all about what I was offering in way of activities and procedures, tempting and seductive when I wasn't getting any at home and my sessioning was my only sexual outlet, and now I feel that I don't need to advertise quite as much as I used to.

I don't need to hawk myself across the internet any more. People know who I am now. I have plenty of regular clients and don't really need any new ones. But I'm not going to close my books yet because I get so much pleasure out of introducing novices and the experienced alike to my type of domination. But I feel the need these days to be a bit more subtle and discreet about who I am and what I do. I stopped listing myself on mistress directories a couple of years ago because the resulting deluge of idiotic calls was depressing. I have a couple of lifetime banners on Pandemos but other than my posting on PDUK, occasionally posting on IC, and tweeting I never advertise. I really don't want to attract timewasting idiots. The real clients who really have an interest in what I do will always find me. I'd far rather have clients who found me by doing their research instead of reaching for the more convenient dial-a-domme sites.

I have needed to update my website to include the dental fetish activities that I offer for a while now but I have been avoiding Dreamweaver because I knew I needed to overhaul the entire site to reflect who I am now. Before that I needed to work out who I was now. I'm still not sure to be honest. Everything has changed quite dramatically in the last couple of years.

I finally spent some time last night making changes to ladyanna.co.uk. As I went through my pages I found older pages with my original text. Although I have deleted them from my website and my server I still have copies backed up that I will keep safely because they show my development as a PD and the progression of my business from the new PD on the block to an experienced, established and respected PD who knows her shit now. The great thing is that there is still loads more to come. My business and I will continue to develop and grow and my trusty website will help chronicle the changes.

So yes, you'll see some changes on my site to reflect that I only offer medical and dental fetish play now. I'm going to lose my News page because I keep forgetting to update it anyway so I'll add a link to my blog here instead. I'm also going to lose some of the wagging finger instructions on my Contact page because now that my phone number is unpublished I don't need to warn blithering idiots as to why I'm not answering their texts or withheld numbers. I'm going to continue and condense the site down and simplify it further and who knows, eventually it may disappear altogether and I'll become one of those mysterious and elusive PDs who are still working but impossible to see.

Ah yes, saying that, my sincere apologies to anyone trying to get hold of me. Because my phone only rings once or twice a week now I tend to forget it's in the bottom of my bag or not realise that the battery has died. I will endeavour, I promise, to make sure that both my phone and I will be within a few foot of each other on weekday mornings between 9am-11am when I'm doing my daily admin. Don't give up calling, you'll get me eventually, and if you really want to see me, I know you guys, you'll keep calling.

Bedtime japes

2012-02-07T18:47:00.000Z

D is so funny when he thinks he is getting one over me, or thinks he can try to get away with something.

On a cold night D gets very warm very quickly whilst snuggling up in bed with me. Before we go to sleep he asks which set of cuffs he should wear. The belly chain I say. Despite this set of cuffs being his favourite I detect a faint grimace. You see the belly chain consists of a length of chain that wraps around his torso, a big padlock and then two cuffs attached to short chains, attached to the waist chain. It is very cold.

After some though he suggests he should wear his police uniform shirt for the night. I know his scheme so I retort "Yeah, right" which he hears as "Yes, okay" and so he quickly scuttles in to his shirt.

"What are you doing?"

"I'm putting on the shirt, like you said"

"No I didn't Take it off" I reply sweetly.

Have you ever seen anyone wrap a freezing cold chain around their middle? He was shimmying like a Latin dancer with a sudden attack of ants in his pants during the Cha Cha Cha.

Due to a slight Christmas increase around his middle he couldn't lock the padlock which meant I had to venture out from under the warm duvet to do it for him. Do you know, I just couldn't do it. I had to run the chain up and down and up and down to find the right fit, and the excess chain dangled all over his bum and the short chains and cuffs kept draping all over his warm thighs. The padlock was freezing as well especially when I pressed it into the small of his back. Both sides.

Laughter warmed me up quickly.

Moaning doesn't. Apparently.

Filming with two subs

2012-02-01T09:25:00.001Z

Two never befores yesterday.

1. Never filmed in my brand spanking new Dental Fetish Clinic before.

2. Never filmed with two subs on the same day before.

Okay, so I am cheating slightly. I didn't film with them together. How could I possibly film with two patients sat in the same chair, eh?

My first film star, 'Mr White', couldn't stay the whole day because of other commitments so D took up as role as 'Mr Brown' again later on. I also managed to squeeze in a short POV film at half time.

I never see two clients in the same day so filming with two different people and the subsequent differing dynamics was quite reviving. I'm usually flagging by the end of a filming session but this time I was full of beans. But then I knew what I had in store for D after his dental scene.

'Mr White' did extremely well for a first film session. You'll be seeing more of him. Poor 'Mr Brown' must be wondering by now if he is ever going to get any dental work done. It seems though that the dentist just likes to gas.

After the last dental scene D threw off his dental garb and we went through and set up in the Medical Clinic. For the first time we didn't film as Nurse and patient, we filmed as me and D. It was different and nice. Any nod to role play soon dropped away because D was going through a tough time with the needles and he needed me, his Miss, to help him through it. He did really well. He hasn't a masochist bone in his body but he is my slave through and through and whatever I want to do to him he will take for me. He was obviously in excruciating pain but he knows how much I love needles so he literally puts his bollocks in my hands. Submission like this is truly humbling and really shows up the do-me-subs and their demands.

You'll be pleased to know that D soon recovered after a cuddle and a curry.

Would you like a sneak preview of the room?

Until next time.

Sunday Mornings

2012-01-29T10:41:00.000Z

In an effort to keep the duvet on my side of the bed, and because I prefer it anyway, D is still wearing his belly chain and cuffs and a pair of rigid cuffs to bed, all night. It stops him wriggling and it stops the night time migration of most of the duvet so it's a win win because I can slumber deeply and warmly without being woken by him.

This morning he woke up moaning about his wrists. So what if the cuffs dug in? So what if his hands were swollen? I had a great night's sleep.

Oh and get this. Despite his terribly swollen hands and painful wrists he was able to fetch me a drink, fetch a plastic bag, and fetch the rubber tubing - still double cuffed.

He was also able to masturbate on command as I bagged him and throttled him with the tubing. Still cuffed. He was able to cum when I suffocated him with a pillow too. Still cuffed.

He was also able to go and wash himself and come back with a damp flannel because he had slovenly allowed himself to drip some cum onto my bedsheets. Still cuffed.

Eventually I took his cuffs off because I wanted a back scratch. This is after he had to grovel on his knees looking for the tiny keys in the deep shagpile rug. I had chucked them for him to find later.

Hmm, I wonder what he is making me for breakfast...

Fantasy fishing

2012-01-19T12:21:00.001Z

I received this text the other afternoon.

Are you the working girl that traced my number and said i had to pay up 100 or you would cause trouble? If so i'll do as you say and pay if you del my number

Let me assure you at this point that I have no idea what he is talking about. My guess is that he has a blackmail fantasy that has resulted in him sending numerous copies of the same text to 'working girls' on the hope that one of us is stupid enough to take the bait and think they could get an easy £100 from a numpty.

Here is the scenario. Miss Dim* sees an opportunity to take £100 from this chap's hands. She replies and adds to the fantasy. He has a play with his willy. He replies and asks how he should pay. He has another play. She replies suggesting PayPal. He has another play. Oh but he hasn't an account. He'll set one up. How does he do it? His credit card has been eaten by the cat. His finger is hovering over the 'pay' button**, he just needs a bit more encouragement, can she send a pic of herself? On and on it goes until even Miss Dim realises that he has no intention of paying his 'blackmailer'.

Some texts, like the one above, are funny. Some, like the one above, are just plain old tedious and I can do without them in my life. Some are really irritating like the wannabe porn star who has text me no less than 20 times to date. Other than occasionally giving me something to blog about these texts don't enhance my life at all. They are like a black slumbering monster that occasionally wakes up and tries to suck out my energy.

Despite taking my number off my website a few months ago and refusing to list on not-so-free*** Mistress directories I still get plonkers texting and calling me asking stupid questions that are already answered on my site, or no, I do not 'do sex'!

After Googling my number it appears that I am listed on several adult sites including london.backpage.com and edinburgh.backpage.com. This is how inaccurate these ridiculous sites are. They even have me listed as 29yrs old.

So I have decided to get another phone and another number which will only be revealed to applicants who have been accepted as potential clients and if my number is released onto the net thus appearing on these sites I shall have no option but to hunt down the miscreant and rip his bowels out.

*Miss Dim may or may not exist.
** His fingers are actually wrapped around his cock.
*** They print your details in escort mags resulting in various men calling about your 'ad' and wanting to know if you are blonde or brunette and do you do BJs, OR they hassle you every other week wanting to check that you have a reciprocal link or they'll take you banners down.

Miss or Mrs? It's none of your bloody business.

2012-01-12T14:58:00.000Z

The way we address women has got up my nose for years now. I am neither a Miss because my surname is my married name, which I wish to keep to match my daughter, nor a Mrs, because I am divorced. I am a Ms.

Ms, as a title can be quite problematic. There are countless of companies who refuse to supply more options other than the extremely basic and sexist Mr, Mrs or Miss. What do I tick? I am none of the above therefore presumably I don't exist. Presumably women are either married or unmarried (or widowed). I am being categorised solely on the basis of my marital status. Oh and my age too because young women are assumed to be Miss and older women must be a Mrs, no? How ridiculous!

Men however, whether they are married, unmarried, young, old, virile, past it, whatever, are Mr as soon as they are at big school. Until then, they may, possibly, be referred to as Master. There is clearly no need to establish whether they are married or not...

So imagine my delight when I read this article today. Hurrah for the French town who has decided that mademoiselle should be banned because women, like men, shouldn't be defined by their marital status. Imagine my surprise when I discover that the more progressive Germans decided to do away with Fraulein in the 1970s. Really? That long ago? So why then, when I lived there were we still learning in school that Frau is Mrs and Fraulein is Miss? How peculiar that we Brits insisted on keeping the sexist titles in a country that had already decided to do away with the unnecessary categorisation.

I don't think Mrs and Miss should be abandoned, or course I don't. I believe in choice and yeah, when I got married I initially enjoyed the novelty of becoming a Mrs too, but please don't assume I am a Mrs (it's really bloody irritating) and please give me the option to tick Ms on your forms.

My marital status is nobody's business but my own.

Elise Sutton

2012-01-11T21:03:00.000Z

Mistress Keene, a very, very, very good friend of mine has been reviewing Elise Sutton's Female Domination: An exploration of the male desire for Loving Female Authority.

Thank god Mistress Keene has been reviewing Elise Sutton because her findings have saved me the job of trawling through what appears to be some sort of sad male sub fantasy.

Is Elise a woman as she claims? Somehow I doubt it.How does being superior (whatever that means) mean that you can be a complete bitch? And I mean bitch in the nastiest terms. Who wants to be belittled, humiliated and told they are inadequate on a daily basis? Who wants to be denied an orgasm forever?

Urgh. It reminds me of the cyber-fawning that cyber-subs like to indulge in when they try and impress me.

I'm not superior, I'm dominant.

You're not pathetically inadequate, you're submissive.

There is a world of difference.

I know you feel dirty reviewing the book Mistress Keene, but please carry on, it saves me reading the garbage for myself.

Packing away the dungeon

2012-01-09T23:19:00.001Z

...and all the associated memories.

After 6 years it was really really strange to pack away all my dungeon equipment. My lovely A frame, my suspension kit; swings and cuffs and bars, my steel bondage items; helmets, mitts, chains, pillories etc as well as all my leather CBT toys, my leather cuffs, and ropes. My canes, floggers, whips, paddles, spankers etc etc, some toys made for me, some bought for me, all enjoyed and hated in equal measure.

All the subs who have been hung from, hung with, poked and prodded, teased and tormented, bound up with, stretched out, cuffed, restrained, wrapped up....with all my lovely toys.

All those memories relived as each item was packed carefully away into storage boxes before being taken to storage until such time that I can make use of them again.

It was quite sad really.

A big part of my life has been carefully packed away. :(

D was like a kid in a sweet shop.

"Can we keep this? What is this? Can we use it at home?"

I'm keeping the whips under my bed as well....

The 'Shit Sandwich' email.

2012-01-07T12:15:00.004Z

I blogged a while back about the Wank Hook. The Wank Hook is where the most important and main reason for the email lurks as an innocent question, "What will you do to me, Mistress?" *fap fap fap fap*

A variant on the Wank Hook email is the Shit Sandwich. The Shit Sandwich is where you create a sandwich comprising of the bread (good news) but the filling, the smallest bit, is the bad news. The Shit Sandwich is used extensively during occupational appraisals. Big them up with their successes, then tell them where they could improve but then tell them something nice to keep them motivated.

Below is a perfect example of the Shit Sandwich email:

Dear Lady Anna,

I found your web site and I'm very interested in visiting you. I'm 46,
have a very high sex drive, need climax/ejaculation 2-4 times most
days. Most of my orgasms currently are from masturbation (I'm also in
a long-distance relationship). I use my hands, a vibrator, some times
a prostate stimulator.

I'm looking for some kind of physical sexual therapy, something that
could allow my to experience a very intense orgasm, or several orgasms,
after which I would perhaps be feel satisfied longer. I see from your
web site that you have a very well equipped studio for sexual medicine,
but I have no prior experience in this. I also understand that you do
directed masturbation. I'm very interested in this.

You mention the Venus 2000 masturbator. I have seen some pictures
of it but I'm not sure exactly how it works. But I'm definitely
interested in the concept of having my penis "milked". I'm also
interested in other kinds of penis therapies (like e-stim, if you
have that equipment). Could you please give me a better idea of what
I could expect in a 2-hour session? I think I might be interested in
weekly visits if you can provide what I need.

Thanks, best regards,

Let's take a look again at this email.

The first paragraph - the bread - boasting about his sexual prowess. This is his fantasy part. Immediately I am bored and am wondering why he hasn't completed the compulsory application form. Perhaps it is because he is special. He's already a timewaster in my book.

The second paragraph - more bread - congratulating me on my 'studio'(?). I think I'm supposed to warm to him here, however I am cringing that he is assuming that my 'studio' is in existence solely to service his over active penis. Note also how he is telling me he is new and not knowledgeable about such matters. Wait for it, wait for it...

The final paragraph - ah yes, he is new and knows nothing, he wants information. He'd know far more if he'd have researched me properly. He found out that I have a Venus but he missed the huge lists of e-stim equipment. Strange how for such a n00b he knew they were called e-stim...and there it is!

Did you notice the question? The wank hook? The shit?

Could you please give me a better idea of what
I could expect in a 2-hour session?

The ENTIRE purpose of this email is for me to spend some time emailing him with what he can expect in a 2 hour session. Oh yes, I will do this to you and then I will do that to you, followed by some of this (have you cum yet?) then some of this and some of that....yeah right! As if.

But look. The sweetener, more bread, the final part of the Shit Sandwich, right at the very end of the email:

I think I might be interested in
weekly visits if you can provide what I need.

This is supposed to be my motivation to provide him with some free wank material:

I think I might (make sure you make the wank material as enticing as possible, you haven't won me over yet) be interested in weekly visits (come on, you must want a weekly visitor, you must be desperate in this economic climate) if (remember, you need to entice me) you can provide (yeah cos you are doing all the hard work for meeeeeeee) what I need (don't forget I am a highly sexed and penis-centric man).

These emails make me laugh. A lot. But they also annoy me ever so slightly that the author assumes I am so thick that I can't see what he is doing, that he trying to manipulate me.

Serious applicants read websites. They fill out my form. They follow procedure. Idiots like this are special and so they dust off their C&P emails, maybe, or maybe not, tailor them to fit the Mistress, and then send them off knowing that some Mistress somewhere, usually the new ones, will take him at face value and in good faith explain how a session operates. She may never hear from him again, but chances are he'll have some more questions for her, and some more, and some more. Will she ever see him and his Amazingly Active Cock for a session? Like you even had to ask.....

Happy New Year!

2012-01-03T10:29:00.000Z

...and good health and happiness to all.

A serious question now. How aware are you of the current laws surrounding obscene material? Did you know that fisting and pissing are considered illegal due to their ability to 'corrupt and deprave' the poor innocent iccle viewer?

But these activities aren't illegal to do.

So legal to do, but illegal to own an consensual image of it.

"If no sexual offence is being committed it seems very odd indeed that there should be an offence for having an image of something which was not an offence," Lord Wallace of Tankerness

Exactly.

The law is currently being tested at present due to a case being heard in court now. In my Blog List I've added a valuable link to a blog entitled Obscenity Lawyer that will discuss the issues surrounding the case as well as the case itself. My only concern is that like 'Spanner' this will become a case about being gay (and ob-vi-ous-ly already likely to corrupt and deprave) rather than what they were actually, consensually, doing with each other.

Be aware of the law and if you ever find yourself in bother with the law over your images of consensual adult sexual activity then seek knowledgeable advice. Do not accept the police or duty solicitor's advice. They have even less idea of these laws than we do. They'd rather you accepted a caution or pleaded guilty to keep everything as tidy as possible.

You can't always get what you want...

2011-12-27T11:06:00.003Z

Hi lady Anna

Just checked you website out and I think its amazing. I would love to see the videos as I can't join as I have not enough money :(. Please could you send some to mee.

You look amazing in the pics I have seen on the website and I have to tell you I would let you do anything to me with the LATEX GLOVES on.

Love you xxx

This is the second email of this nature. I don't know whether to be amazed at the audacity of the request or laugh at his sheer chutzpah!

In other news I have decided to withdraw further from posting online, in forums in particular. The closed mindedness and judgemental attitudes of so-called BDSM practitioners on Informed Consent is getting very depressing as is the constant stream of self-promotion and advertising by PDs on a website that clearly barely tolerates us because they have the opinion that all we PDs do is self-promote and advertise.

UK-Mistresses lost it's lustre a long time ago but I'd occasionally be tempted to join in on some interesting discussions. But the last discussion ended up with some nameless, faceless, keyboard warrior spewing out lies about me, and our previous correspondence (where he had done everything he then accused me of!) in an attempt to impress his new Mistress/es, well known antagonist/s of mine. It's infantile. It's crass. It's car crash madness. It's a really horrible side to PDing that I can never get used to, and never want to get used to. I won't give you details of what is being said about me but it's exactly what I am being accused of. In fact no, nobody has every accused me of calling other Mistresses 'c*nts'.

I will continue to post on the more sensible, mature PDUK where as a moderator I can at least delete any lies that are being made against me, and moderate any personal attacks against any Mistress. (Saying that I should publicly acknowledge the quick thinking of the UKM mods for deleting and moderating the last lunatic ramblings but I'd rather they didn't have to - thanks Lisal and Reefy).

I'll leave the name calling and bitching to another Mistress on Twitter. I'll never lower myself and retaliate in kind, never have, never will. She can fill her boots and then worry about her own Karma instead of hypocritically commenting on everyone else's.

I'll leave you with a chuckle. Apparently a small group of Mistresses are busy gossiping about me being a gossip.

Lifestyle delusions and what is 'real'?

2011-12-08T13:26:00.003Z

My opinion is that breathplay is very intimate and because of the risks involved can only be enjoyed in a close and trusting relationship with someone who cares deeply about you....

.....It's only when you get to know someone intimitely and trust them to play safely, that you can really enjoy breathplay. There is a strong control element to this form of play, the sub has no control, the Dom has complete control over the sub's very existence at this point.
Breathplay is playing with life and death. An experienced sub would not hand over this level of control over their life in a casual one-off play scene.

Yes. Quite. *sigh*

The above quote is from a lifestyle player. Someone who has had an experience and believes that her experience is the only valid experience and therefore the only valid truth. She completely rejects the notion that casual acquaintances can indulge in breathplay and have a fantastic time.

I replied.

I'm taking the piss because you are talking shite. You do not know what you are talking about. You can only ever talk about your own experience, not everyone else's.
For many people breath play isn't a cosy fuzzy 'my we really love each other' moment. It's a time when they want the bejesus scared out of them to get a massive kick that will give them something to think and wank about for a very long time.

It is because many of the lifestyle crowd also have this particular sub's beliefs that the professional community get so much stick:

We don't love our clients so it can't be real.
We don't have meaningful long term relationships so it can't be real.
We are paid to perform so it can't be real.

What is 'real' when it is used in this way? What does 'real' mean?

Do you mean I am only pretending to strangle them? Are they pretending to choke and turn purple? I am only pretending to chain them up? With pretend chains?

Or do they just mean that BDSM in a casual relationship is different to BDSM in a long term relationship? Well no shit Sherlock. But that doesn't make one real and one not-real. Both relationships are real. They are both happening. They are creating memories. They are both valid experiences.

When does a casual relationship become long term? Some clients see their PDs for far longer than most lifestyle relationships.

NEWSFLASH: Many Pro Dommes are also...lifestyle! We do have the authority to comment on the similarities and differences between professional domination and lifestyle relationships.

Perhaps they really mean meaningful? Well, again, who can say what is or isn't meaningful to somebody else?

If someone has a preference for BDSM in a long term relationship then fine. Good for you. That is your preference. Don't judge other people's preferences.

By the way, at what point did your lifestyle BDSM activities turn from unsatisfactory to satisfactory? After a week?

A month?

A year?

Or do you mean love?

Love is a completely different matter. Not that she mentioned love in the quote above. Love has nothing to do with BDSM and BDSM has nothing to do with love. You can enjoy one without the other. For some of us though we quite like having both at the same time. I love BDSM with love (with D) and I love BDSM without love (with my clients). Lots of similarities and lots of differences. Both give me pleasure but they have a different effect on me and that feeling is the feeling I have for the person I play with. I like my clients but I love D.

The other obvious difference between my professional domination and my lifestyle is that in my lifestyle I have sex. D and I make love which adds another dimension of intimacy which can never be achieved in a professional session. Of course my lifestyle relationship is different to my professional sessions, but that doesn't mean 'lifestyle' is better. Lifestyle basically means non-pro in most cases. There is a difference between lifestyle and intimate. Some lifestyle relationships are long term, some are far more casual and cheap than anything you'll see on Jeremy Kyle with lifestylers chopping and changing partners like a swingers tea party.

But when BDSM is part of a loving long term relationship then yeah, there is a difference but that doesn't mean is any more real than anything else.

BDSM intensifies the feelings I have for the person I am playing with. I like the clients I like more, and I love D more.

Interestingly the ones I didn't like that much I started to like less so it is necessary to eventually stop seeing them because I don't want to spend my time with them.

So, in conclusion, don't some of those lifestylers talk absolute bollocks? :)

Duvet Wars

2011-12-07T14:51:00.002Z

Like most couples D and I bicker over who hogs, or who outright maliciously steals, the duvet.

Despite being a Female Led Relationship which means I am the boss in all things ever D shows remarkable stubbornness in insisting that I steal the duvet. The casual observer, or voyeur as you would be in this case, would agree that I must indeed steal it as the entire super-kingsize feather duvet ends up heaped upon me by morning. I wake up in a sweaty, nightmare-filled panic, because I am just too hot to be humanly comfortable, to D chuntering about being cold all night, reduced to shivering, with frozen feet and chilly buttocks, under our fluffy bed blanket. Poor mite.

Well.

Well!

A week ago I had abdominal surgery. A 6" hole held together by 14 clips means that once I am in bed, on my back, I am unable to move without assistance. I can't turn over, let alone roll. I have slept in this one position for the whole week. By morning the duvet has mysteriously migrated to my side of the duvet cover, leaving his side of the duvet cover empty but still on his side.

When D and I first started sleeping together he got a rocket for employing the Sausage Roll Duvet Stealing Technique when moving around in bed. This technique is where the sausage (in this case, D) grabs the duvet under one arm, clamps it tight to his body and rolls over taking the entire duvet with him. A few swift midnight punches with some grumpy growling soon stopped that malarky.

Since then he has been employing the Old Lady Duvet Stealing Technique which is where the old lady (in this case, D again) rolls over but fretfully plucks at the covers inch by inch every few minutes to adjust them over himself all the while hoping that he hasn't been detected by me. Because he is plucking rather than clamping armfuls of duvet he is only pulling the duvet cover over himself, leaving the heavier duvet behind to eventually shift over to my side of the bed.

Before you start blaming me for the duvet migration, and feeling sorry for D, just remember that I have been surgically prevented from moving at all.I'm not a duvet thief!

HE! *points finger dramatically* is the architect of his own cold nights.

Of course in the interests of science it is necessary to replicate this experiment but with a different set of variables to support my hypothesis. With that in mind I have spent this afternoon plotting a night where he is bound tight in a bodybag so that he can only sleep on his back, as I have had to do, to see if the duvet stays in its cover, on his side of the bed, over him, thus proving that I don't steal it at all.

That'll solve the argument.

.

Operation: one week on

2011-12-06T09:45:00.001Z

It's been a whole week since I had my surgery. I can hobble around, get myself out of bed without assistance and wear a mean pyjama.

Isnt's it incredible how sexist we can all be without even realising it? I was at the hospital going through all the usual surgery preliminaries and reciting my name and address over and over again to ensure I didn't receive a vasectomy when this tall blonde gorgeous nurse entered and preceded to explain the anaesthetic procedure. Why had I assumed that the anaesthetist would be a man? Because previous gasmen were men perhaps? Anyway, she was great. As she explained what was what in her European accent I couldn't help but dwell on the fact that I know dozens of men who would be really really jealous :D That cheered me up a bit and helped with the anxiety.

I am positive that I wasn't given any pre-op medication to calm me down. I'm obviously good at looking calm and not-panicky. I was wheeled down to the theatre ante room and after reciting my name and address and reason for being there again the anaesthetists (another woman - yay) fitted my cannula as I babbled about having crap veins (they collapse at the sight of a needle, I am okay and like to watch) whilst the nurse adjusted my gown ready to whip it off as soon as I went under. Quick, quick I need to ask what I am getting so I can blog about it! I was given sevoflurane along with another four agents to ensure a quick induction and reduced chance of vomiting afterwards. I can spew for England as previous operations have proved.

A disposable gas mask was placed over my face. "Breathe deeply for four breaths" said my Teutonic gasmanlady. I breathed in the sweet heady gas for four breaths. Ha! I was woozy but I was still conscious. Ner-ner. Something was injected into my hand and I had to take another two breaths. I desperately tried to remember the smell. That was it. Gone.

I woke up in another room with this great male nurse who chatted away to me about something or another. I have no idea what it was but I liked him. I think we talked about Bombay Sapphire, my favourite gin. Ah, that was it, he offered a drink of water and I asked for a G&T. I think I'm really funny. *ahem* Like he hasn't heard that a million times before eh?

I was then wheeled back to the ward and had to move myself onto the most uncomfortable trolley bed thing I have ever had the misfortune to lie on. Horrible things. Not beds at all, and too short! I couldn't straighten my legs out. I drifted in and out of a very uncomfortable sleep for a couple of hours as I waited for D to come off the golf course (I hope he was joking) and take me home.

For most of the week I have been propped up in bed swigging water and painkillers as my abdomen heals. I have a 6 inch cut that is being held closed with 14 clips. I look like Frankenstein's monster's mother but it's healing nicely with no sign of infection. It's incredible how much you use your abdominals to move, breathe, talk and laugh. I've felt every single movement. A lot of pain. I hate pain. I'm not good with it.

Thank god for D! He's lifted me in and out of bed, propped me on the loo, shopped and cooked for me, fetched and carried for me, looked after my animals, sorted my washing, and only ever just looked sad if I shouted at him in sheer pain and/or frustration. (He's good at looking sad, makes me feel like a right heel. Git). He was rubbish at trying to disentangle the mats that appeared in my hair, though. He doesn't have much hair himself: I think he is jealous.

When I'm better I'll reward him by drugging him and chaining him up in the cellar for a couple of days. It's the least I can do. I couldn't have managed without him.

My hair! I honestly thought at one point that I'd have to cut my hair off. I looked like the love child of Russell Brand and Amy Winehouse. I didn't need a pillow, I had my matted hair to sleep on. Thank god for John Frieda's Frizz-Ease. My hair has recovered and is as long and silky as it ever was.

I have no idea when I'll be back to sessions but at this rate it may be next week. I'm really really bored and need to get back into the swing of things as soon as I can. I'll probably spend this afternoon processing some film for my member site.

Glad to be back. :)

Filming today

2011-11-25T22:39:00.000Z

I spent several hours this afternoon filming new scenes for my Member Site with D. Filming can be incredibly strenuous and stressful. Not only are you thinking about what you are doing but you have to consider camera angles, ensure that the cameraman has a clear view, lighting, how the scene should start, how it should end, and everything has to be fresh and original so you have to hope you haven't repeated yourself.

Sessioning is nothing like filming, or rather filming is very unlike sessioning. For one thing there is a cameraman in the room so the level of intimacy and other worldness just isn't there. Most importantly the patient or sub is not the only concern or the centre of the Domme's focus. When filming the important thing is the film. The film is the result, the whole purpose for being there. Each scene ends and everyone rushes around to move lights, cables, equipment and all sorts of other stuff to set up the next scene. This is why I will never film with a new client. I need to know the client, know how they respond, know they trust me and know they understand there is a huge difference between filming and sessioning. I also need to trust the client will behave appropriately, understand when I have a minor melt down and not expect special attention from me on the day.

Luckily for me I have D. He knows me, knows I want the very best from myself, the cameraman and him, and more importantly he'll do whatever it takes to help me produce some quality scenes. So feel for the poor restrained and gassed boy when I produced a rosebud sound attached to a cordless drill. On film. With no warning. Or practise. At least he could curl up and have a nap whilst I filmed one of my talking to the camera clips. Yep, we filmed him snoring too ;)

Talking of films, because of my forthcoming operation, I shall be uploading next Wednesday's update this Sunday as I doubt I will be up to doing it whilst recovering from surgery on the 28th. Cross fingers I should be able to do the weekly update the following Wednesday.

Thank you everyone for all your best wishes. I appreciate your emails and texts. :)

See you on the other side.

Femdom = Female objectification?

2011-11-15T12:44:00.000Z

Like most mature women I hate female objectification. I hate the way a woman's validity is often based on not only the size of her breasts but how high her nipples point (judging from some shockingly bad boob jobs the nipples don't even have to point in the same direction. Perhaps boss eyed nipples are less threatening?) I hate how people are surprised at an attractive woman's intelligence because only 'munters' are allowed to be clever.

But I really hate how some subs think femdom is where the woman, always attractive, always slim, should wear boots and gloves or leather or rubber, as long as the objects of their fetishes are worn for them rather than the comfort and practicality of the wearer, and anything less is not good enough.

So what is a Domme? A woman, any woman, who will wear your fetish item? If so, you are not a submissive. You are a fetishist. Fetishists can be exceedingly selfish or extremely polite and considerate and everything in between. The selfish ones are staggering in their sheer rudeness. They can be unbelievingly crass and I suspect that they have no respect for women at all. The polite ones will ask rather than demand, appreciate rather than assume and thank rather than expect.

I do play with fetishists. I don't have a problem with the ones who treat me as a fellow human being but I can't bear the ones who want me to wear this particular strappy patent shoe with ankle straps, or that particular skirt in this material at that length with a high waist, or want me to measure my fingernails cuticle to nail tip and then tip of finger to nail tip (I'm not kidding).

So don't come to me, say you're a submissive, and you believe femdom is all about the women being in control and then try and dominate my wardrobe. You're Not A Sub.

Nor is being a sub all about grovelling and calling me Goddess. That is equally as off putting.

Urgh. I have a banging headache today :(

Pre-op assessment

2011-11-14T19:17:00.000Z

I'm having an operation. All going well and assuming I don't get bumped I should be having it on the morning of the 28th of November.

I had my pre-op assessment today. Fortunately my virus has burned out and my chest is clearing up nicely otherwise I may have had my date postponed.

As you most probably know I specialise in the medical fetish and I try to be as authentic as possible to anchor the fantasies in reality wherever I can. As we sat in the waiting room, for an hour, we looked around at the dull, utilitarian decor, the tatty out of date magazines, and the spare furniture stacked in the corner of the room and debated that perhaps authenticity is great but only up to a point a long way before becoming grim.

I was weighed, measured, blood pressure and SPO2 checked, and then had my bloods done. D bravely averted his eyes and clutched my handbag tight as the needle sank into my skin, pierced my vein and the blood filled up the little bottle.

We then had to find our way to cardiology to make sure my heart is fit for surgery where I got a boiled sweet presented because the cardiologist said I was the most interesting patient he'd had that day. Well...he did ask what I do for a living.

After 3 hours we were released and so now I wait, fit and healthy, for the 28th.

Lucky bugger!

2011-11-10T21:34:00.000Z

D wrote a blog the other night entitled Lucky D. He was being polite because the feedback is actually 'Does he know he's a lucky bugger?'

Yeah he is. But also do you have any idea what an awkward bugger I can be? Seriously. :) I've lived on my own for nine years so I'm used to doing and having everything my way, never compromising on the TV remote control, always having my decision as the only outcome and when I'm tired, hungry and thirsty I'm hell. I'm also really grumpy, sardonic and occasionally sarcastic as well as critical and picky. One of the drawbacks of being a hyper-critical perfectionist about myself is I sometimes (always) apply the same high standards to everyone around me.

Luckily for me D quite likes being bossed around and is very pleasing and obliging which smooths out a lot of problems that I'd have in a vanilla relationship. In return I make him laugh, stroke him, cuddle him and drug him and shackle him to the bed when I need some me-time. It goes a long way to making up for the way I have a go at him over his emotional attachment to mayonnaise on everything, and his daft Lancastrian colloquialisms. Poor boy doesn't know half the time if I'm joking, winding him up or I'm just in a bad mood.

I've been poorly today with a raging burning sore throat, fatigue and a severe case of the miserable sods. As a nurse I am brilliant: as a patient I am a nightmare. I excel in feeling sorry for myself. But D is great. He cuddled me in bed. He cooked me dinner. He scratched my back and now he's in bed warming up my side for me as I hate cold beds whereas he loves them. I'll no doubt send him downstairs several times for something or other before we go to sleep.

I wonder how many people who have said D is a 'lucky bugger', now think he is a 'poor bastard'. :-D

Why is the tribute so high?

2011-11-07T21:17:00.000Z

An oft asked question of PDs is why are the hourly rates so high? Perhaps a less asked question is why they vary so much – anything between £60ph to £300ph. The national average is £140 (Pandemos). It is a good question and so I'll aim to try and answer it as best as I can here for future reference. Please be aware that there isn't a typical PD, nor is there a typical business model. Not every PD will fit or agree fully with the article but I hope to convey as much as possible when it comes to what factors are considered when setting a session fee. As with any other self-employed person a PD needs to consider the times that they aren't paid, for example, when they are on holiday and when they are off sick. We also don't have the security of knowing exactly how much we are going to receive in our pay packet at the end of the month. We take that risk, and because we do we consider this a factor when we set our fee.

Bookings are often irregular, seasonal, and not particularly reliable. We could have a booking every day one week, but the following week our diary is empty. To some extent we have to be available for when the client wants us. We fit around their needs, and they fit around our availability and the bookings we already have in our diary. Our fee has to support our availability so that we don't need to reduce it by seeking alternative, perhaps more secure, employment. To some extent this means that our fee has to cover the times when we are let down by clients. Unavoidable let downs are when the client has a last minute work commitment, or illness themselves, and they have to postpone or cancel outright. If a cancellation is made with plenty of notice we can sometimes fill that slot with somebody else, but sometimes we can't and so we lose a day's work.

One big minus in our business is the malicious timewasters who fill up our diary preventing genuine clients from booking with us. We also have those who lose their nerve and fail to arrive at their appointed time, again leaving us with an empty session slot. These are times when it is far too late to get another client booking with us. The damage caused by timewasters and cancellations is more of a concern to PDs just starting out. As a new PD your bookings are few, your diary is empty and you can see an entire fortnight's earning capacity ruined by a couple of timewasters.

Other factors we need to consider are overheads. Like any business some of us have rent, rates, and utilities. Some of us work from home so we don't have these overheads but we still have extra costs such as consumables depending on what activities we offer as part of our service , for example, condoms, gloves, sterile gloves, cleaning agents, sterilising agents, lube, needles, syringes, saline, batteries, towels, catheters, the list is endless. Then, of course, we have the equipment itself. Some PDs may offer just CP to their clients so their equipment list is fairly modest compared to a PD offering a dungeon and more. As a professional however they need to ensure they have the best quality canes, tawses, straps, hairbrushes, spanking benches that they can source. A lot of PDs have equipped dungeons with bondage chairs, benches, cages, straitjackets. Other PDs may have additional rooms such as a medical room that contains a hospital bed, a gynae chair, an autoclave perhaps, with shelves full of medical tools. Others may offer a complete transform service that boasts and extensive wardrobe for all tastes in all sizes. Every PD knows that a proportion of their earnings must go back into the business as an invest whether to buy new equipment, or to replace old or worn equipment. A well-equipped dungeon can cost £1000s to kit out. Some PDs have been quoted to have equipment worth £10,000 - £30,000.

It may be tempting to think that if a PD reduced their price they would get more booking and earn more money. This is fine if you think that the mental and physical capacity of a PD is inexhaustible, but a PD can only produce a quality product at a consistent level for so long. I know that if I saw more clients a week my level of personal investment into the session would suffer and this in turn would affect the client's enjoyment and the likelihood that he will return. I have found the number of hours I can session a week without running myself down with mental and physical exhaustion and that number of clients have to pay a fee that will support my chosen lifestyle. Put simply, I can work less for the same amount of money or I can work harder for the same amount of money...I think that is a no-brainer. The clients, and my diary, will always let me know if I have the balance between fee and client-satisfaction just right.

As with any business we will ensure that we have maximised our potential. If a PD offers a service or an activity which is unique they can charge a higher fee. A PD can also set their fee to reflect their talent, their imagination, their flair, creativity and intuition, as well as their experience. A PD shouldn't be valued on the contents of their dungeons, chambers or medical rooms alone. If they live in an area with little in the way of direct competition they can charge a higher fee. If their diary is consistently full it is not unreasonable for them to want to lower their overheads (consumables, disposables, cleaning, and wear and tear) by increasing their fee. A PD may only want to session two or three times a week and as long as there are clients who are willing to pay for that exclusivity then why not?
A PDs workload isn't confined to the session. The session is like playtime. The real work is in the administration that is needed to run a business. There are emails to answer, there are calls to attend to, and there is often a website that needs maintenance, as well as the advertising, the searching for new products, and sourcing the best value and best quality in available equipment. Not all of us are blessed with reliable domestic subs so often we have to clean and sterilise our own chambers and equipment. All of this time has to be covered by the session fee. Have I mentioned the wardrobe? Corsets, latex, leather, satin, stockings, boots, shoes, gowns, gloves – the list can be endless, I don't think it is necessary to list everything here.

It must be made clear in this article that the level of fee is not indicative of the quality of service. A high fee does not ensure you will get a fantastic level of service. Nor does a low fee indicate a PD with only a tatty slipper and a bored expression. If a PD has been in business for a long time and has accrued all they need in costly equipment then they may have a more modest fee. If a PD is located in a high rent area their fee will have to reflect this. Consider all the factors when deciding what you are prepared to pay and what you are likely to get for your money.

Rip off!

2011-10-31T14:59:00.002Z

I love comments like these.

Look, I would not pay a Mistress £200 for an hour session for the simple fact that I feel it's a rip off, you should get a whole weekend for that cost.

So says someone who hasn't ever seen a PD, hasn't ever been self-employed (I assume because these comments always come from the employed), hasn't ever really sat down and considered the cost of hosting and running a session and through their ignorance, probably never ever will.

By their reckoning a PD should only ever earn approximately £500 a week. That isn't going to stretch very far is it? Not if you consider that it also has to cover the overheads of running a premises that is able to command such an hourly rate, as well as the usual living costs like mortgages, taxes, food, clothing, insurance etc etc etc.

Shouldn't a PD be able to charge a fee that reflects her skills and experience? Or should we charge as little as possible, preferably less, so that we aren't accused of ripping off men who think they have a right to receive the play they want, when they want, with the toys they want, for affordable peanuts (presumable the Smart Price ones from Asda).

Because, god forbid that we be accused of being immoral for wanting to earn what we are worth on an open market.

But, to look on the bright side, at least sheer stupidity like this can be quite entertaining on a miserable October day.

Online conventions

2011-10-28T11:46:00.001+01:00

Some of the online conventions that people use really make me flinch and cringe away in horror.

I absolutely detest the way people use asterisks to surround their thought process or their physical movement. I'll give you an example. I've taken this from another forum and I make no apology for using it. It's totally self indulgent and I'm sure her dominant would like even more people to know how domly he is.

Time is creeping on and I sit here reluctant to go to bed, you see it's been one of those weeks already the work hours are ticking up to a hefty 32 in just three days...*sighs softly and pokes at her dark circles*..I have two days off now and wanting to make the most of them staying up seems like a good idea, least till the morning and i look in the mirror....giggles A little while ago i had to prepare a list, part of a task i did for himself and herself. An ABC of likes and dislikes and wow was that harder than i thought it could be....smiles.

I saw them a little while after, herself leaned in, whispering in my ear at the Tamworth Munch....jokingly...(so i thought) said to me ”.. well we start with all the things on the dislike side first”...i give her that look struggling not to present "naughty nose" as she terms it, knowing that if i do it generally adds to my ever growing cane stroke total...winces in anticipation...

It's here i start wondering at the naivety of giving a dislike list to two sadists... how naive is she i here you cry...well the fun is in the finding out huh, but....*crosses her eyes playfully*...I said .. (So i thought).. because i received another task today asking me to write how i imagined wearing a nice leather hood would be and how it would make me feel.

It's at this point that i realise that was on my dislike side and maybe she was not joking....smiles and shakes her head...

So here it is...

I don't know what has gone before whether i am warm or cold, whether we are in the public dungeon at Exodus or a separate room, my heart would be racing the flush creeping up my neck, the fear curling happily through my gut as they place it over my head...i am scared i know i will be i can already imagine the panic as it tugs at the edges of my reason, that moment when i realise that the hood is very restrictive. I wonder will it have laces, a zip or nothing at all?, i imagine how sound will be in the blackness that is created, is it maddening?, can you hear anything or is the clarity of all sound taken away from you? Will simple things like a finger dragged across the leather sound like fingers down a blackboard in your head. Will the level of raw, intimate vulnerability that i suspect it will give me belong there?

They always say that sensations are magnified if you lose one of your senses, maybe you can't see much?, can i open my eyes, how hot will i get?, how afraid?, how deliciously trusting will i need to be to do it in the first place, will i have a choice?...I can taste the leather, the excitement and the fear, can i honestly imagine how it will be, never having had the experience before, maybe not...

*Takes a breath*

So many maybe's... so many thoughts running through my head as my body tightens and reacts...so much to process just in the thinking let alone the doing...

This is where i respectfully ask for help, please share the experiences you've had when you first used a hood, ....how did it feel for you?, what can i expect?

*pushes her keyboard away from her, rubs her temples before finally smiling*..

Is anyone else feeling sick? *passes sick bag around just in case*

When I first saw this way of expression on a board I thought it was a bit cute. Novel. I hadn't seen it before. I think *shudders* I may have even indulged in it a bit myself. After receiving stacks of memos from subs who also indulged in this form of self expression I soon realised that it was a big neon sign shouting Watch out! Fantasist! at me.

I soon added this to my profile.

If you do memo me please don't use all that online submission stuff (*kneels*, *submission*, *bows head* etc etc, if you were really honest it would be *wanking* wouldn't it?) I really don't like it. I'm a person first, a woman second and a Domme third and when I do dom it is in real time only.

I ignored that particular post for several days hoping it would drop off the board into obscurity but I couldn't help be drawn back to it like watching a particularly grisly car crash wondering what on earth makes a mature woman type like an emotionally immature teenage girl.

Unfortunately a few other board members commented on her post, but only one referring to her post being the longest preamble to a straightforward question in the history of the website. Very polite I thought. The OP replied:

Most of you it seems missed the point in the first place that the post was written that way at the request of my dominant...

Dear God! Oh I am so sorry! I'm sure we are all sorry that we all missed the unsaid point of the post and that it is actually more self indulgent than first realised.

Why do these so called obviously insecure dominants insist on relying on their subs to big themselves up? Are they that desperate to appear more domly to the rest of us that they risk looking like a complete plonker instead?

And why do these sad little submissives comply? Who is kidding who? Who is shoring up who?

More to the point why do the rest of us have to be subjected to this drivel?

I responded:

Well good for him and good for you. Personally I don't wish to be subjected to such self indulgent drivel.

Unfortunately, I had managed to read most of it before my saccharin sweet *online shite* radar kicked in and made my eyes glaze over preventing me from reading what the actual purpose of your post was. I certainly missed the part which said he had requested you post like a spoiled 15 yr old to make him look like some super master.

If you and your dominant want to 'scene' on a public board the least you can do is give us a warning and I'll avoid all your posts in future.

Oh sorry, am I being rude? This post was written in a way requested by myself, a dominant (so that's all right then?)

*crosses eyes playfully and hurls up*

I have no doubt that I will told off by the board for 'attacking' a poor liccle subby.

More importantly though, why do I even care?

*bangs head on desk after first removing keyboard so I don't end up with half the alphabet stuck on my forehead, and then looks around wondering if it's time for lunch yet*

Filming

2011-10-20T09:38:00.000+01:00

I'll be spending the next two days filming with D.

There are so many options to film that I'm in a bit of a dither as to what to concentrate on. I have my new dentist chair. I have a new anaesthetic trolley. I have a slave who hasn't tried needles yet. Oh yes and I'll be training him further to accept sounding. I have given him fair warning this time so we'll see if his reaction is any less intense, although I suspect it won't be. I may have to thoroughly relax him prior to the sounding but then if I do that he won't benefit from the full effect of having his genitalia plundered will he?

Hmm, decisions decisions.

Satisfied...and rebellious

2011-10-18T18:49:00.002+01:00

D as you may already know is kept in chastity. This isn't the sort of chastity that is used to hide the fact that he is impotent or has erectile dysfunction. This is the sort of chastity that keeps him on his toes and me with a biddable, eager to comply slave. The fact that he is very highly sexed man locked up in a plastic cock cage is a huge turn on, for me as well as him.

As I have already mentioned before D is allowed out of his CB when he is with me and is only locked up when he is away from me. One of the reasons is hygiene but the other reason is that his cock belongs to me now. He just carries it around for me. And wees through it.

So anyway, last night I gave D permission to cum. I'd had a huge orgasm (he wanted me to include this bit as well as something about him being a sex god and some other such stuff....) and it was about time he had one as well, it had been a while and his constant erection during bondage was disturbing the bedclothes. Lucky boy even had a plastic bag put over his head and a rubber hose tightened around his neck. This always guarantees more blood in a certain area which is always well received by me, in a certain area. You get the picture.

Now then, the point of my blog tonight is that after a period of abstinence D becomes very attentive, very affectionate, very loving and if I say jump he jumps. After he has ejaculated and orgasmed the eagerness to oblige dissipates somewhat. A lot. 'Oh, you know I am only joking' he says after showing very distinct signs of rebellion and disobedience. His tone is more challenging and his face is more smackable. Humph. The fact of the matter is that prior to orgasm he wouldn't even dare to joke about it.

So, what to do? Less orgasms which would be missed from my sex life or firmer scarier consequences for his 'jokes' which I will enjoy? The latter is the obvious solution. More strapping. More whipping. Less bondage. Less attention.

Now then. Where is my new nylon whip? I'm sure he has hidden it.

Drugged

2011-10-17T18:21:00.000+01:00

D is really into bondage. I mean really, really into bondage. Metal bondage in particular, with as many cuffs and variants of cuffs as possible. I may have mentioned this fact about D before.

He's also into being drugged and I quite like using chemical enhancements as well. He's also very sensitive to Syndol. Syndol is an over the counter painkiller so there is nothing nasty or illegal about it: it's easy to get and it's easy to use. You just grab his face, twist his nose, shove a couple of tablets in his mouth and force some water down his throat (which reminds me, we haven't tried waterboarding yet..)

I then wait. :)

Before long he starts to look a bit dopey and sleepy. I help him down onto my very large, warm, comfortable bed. I arrange his legs and cuff those securely. I slip on the belly chain and cuffs, and padlock and click it all closed. I then double cuff his wrists as well to make sure he feels really snug. I put on his steel helmet and lock it tight with a small padlock. I don't restrain him to the bed if I intend to leave the house, but I do take all the keys.

I then cover him up so he doesn't get cold and I leave him. The first time we did it I went out to a session and then straight across town to get my nails done, which was approximately 5 hours on his own. The second time we did it I left him for just two hours. D usually drifts in and out of a light sleep but heavy wakefulness. He's able to make his way to the loo if he really needs to but usually he just drifts in and out, aware of his bondage and aware of my leaving him but too relaxed to be concerned. He loves waking up to bondage.

I'm planning the next time already.

A message

2011-10-14T17:38:00.000+01:00

on a forum, for me.

Hope you don't mind me droping a memo to you, I was just reading you're profile, and i was very iumpressed, i wonder if i may be permitted to ask if may PM with you at some time, as there are some things we seem to share in common.

Okay so it is a polite message. It can't hurt to ask can it?

But. Why would I want to communicate with a complete stranger? To talk about what? To discuss what exactly? To be bored rigid by tales of his submissive beginnings? To chat about kink so that we can masturbate on webcam together perhaps? Phhbttt! As if.

I genuinely do not know why complete strangers would think that I would want to strike up an online correspondence with them. I make it very, very clear on my profiles that I am a professional domme. I have never given the impression that I am available for chat, free, paid or anything else.

Why do they do it?

Steel Bondage

2011-10-12T13:32:00.001+01:00

I've always liked handcuffs, but never really appreciated the beauty of steel bondage until I met D. He told me during one of our initial consultations that nothing was as strong as steel bondage. Uh-huh. During that session I showed him how tight and inescapable simple rope could be. As he writhed around naked ad bound on my carpet he had to admit that yes, rope was a perfectly adequate form of inescapable bondage.

Since then I have learned to appreciate the aesthetics and connotations of steel and iron, and see what he means by nothing beats metal restraints. As a love of all things shiny and metal I soon fell in love again with my own Hiatts, and thoroughly enjoyed playing with his own extensive collections of cuffs and other assorted irons.

Just recently I decided to equip my dungeon with some beautiful items of steel bondage. I have handcuffs, ankle cuffs, a neck cuff, an iron wrist and ankle pillory, a gold steel neck, wrist and ankle combination, a steel iron man helmet, and a spherical hood with matching spherical cuffs in black with more items to follow, complimented by my aluminium humbler and other steel CBT toys. Oh and don't forget my suspension frame!

I even knocked up a sub-site to show them off and tempt my subs.

Steel Bondage.

So, if you think you are tough enough to submit to some steel bondage whilst in some challenging stress positions, maybe wired up with some devious electrodes inserted or attached to some sensitive places, you know where to come.

New dentist chair

2011-10-09T18:45:00.001+01:00

Finally, the promised pic of my new chair.

Isn't it a beauty?

I am given to understand that such an image can have a very profound effect on certain people.Oh, I do hope so. :)

Look at those chrome levers! There are a fair few levers that need to be figured out and then used to loosen them up. It's a bit stiff in places.

Of course D had to be the first to have a go. He drifted off as I tried to work out to take shots from the best angles.

Text Nation

2011-10-04T15:07:00.001+01:00

Hi sub dom bi male escort into group fun and films.
Got owt going down you could use me in?

He sent this message three times in one afternoon.

Why do they bother?

Very rough and brutally infliction of my testicles and cock

2011-10-03T10:45:00.000+01:00

Hello Lady Anna

On my lap i have found your address for hard ball treatment.

i want that you torture my 2 erected balls and do destroy my testicles
as far as possible. I want that you will erase my erection for good.

First you should make a blowjob with cum shot as usual. Later on
suddenly you should starting to inflict very rough and brutally

I must see that you do enjoy torture you must destroying my balls
by hard scratching and tight them until they turn blue.

Please use knives, razors, needles all necessary means inc. burning
cigarettes to harm my testicles while you laughing me all the time lovely
as you would spoiling me for a horny fuck.

What way do you inflict me? Could you mention it? Do i get permanent damage? I want from you most severe abusive destructive very painful
treatment. You may cutting into my balls as castration like.

For your response i thank you in advance

cheers,

howard

Female Domination

2011-10-01T11:09:00.000+01:00

There seems to be a common thought in some clients that female domination is great.....in the dungeon...or the bedroom.....but god forbid it happen anywhere else! They then get a bit confused between domination, domineering and abuse. A dominant woman in the session is scary, a bit frightening, but sexy. A dominant women in the bedroom is really sexy, geddin! But a dominant woman anywhere else and suddenly we are portrayed as harpy-like tyrants who shout and bully our way through life demanding and scowling until, like the exhausted parents of a particularly truculent three year old, everyone just gives in and we get what we want.

Female domination doesn't exist to titillate the male libido. Yeah, I know, you've seen the male tied up with his erection pushing against the ceiling whilst the female, wearing some sort of shiny black contraption as she desperately tries not to rip her new sheets with the 6 inch stiletto bed boots, looks sexy, seductive and faux-scary. Okay so some female domination is purely male created, male led, male maintained and designed to serve the male. But not all of it. Some of it is female created, for themselves.

Some females are dominant. Some females don't take easily to the role of submission where they give up the remote, or they go where he wants to go on holiday. Some of us are dominant outside the dungeon and it's not confined to the bedroom.

D and I are in a female led relationship. Put simply, I lead and he wants to be led by me. If I want him to do the chores he does them. If I want to watch Doctor Who, we watch Doctor Who. If I want to go to that restaurant, we go to that one. If I want an orgasm D has to provide. If I want him chained naked at my feet, that is what I get. No quibbles, no questions, no refusals. If he does something wrong he gets punished. I may belt him, I may cage him, I may ignore him. His punishment is my choice. The result is that we are both extremely happy.

Of course there is room for abuse, as there is in any relationship. But, as every relationship should be, both parties want the other to be happy.

Dentist Chair Alert!!!

2011-09-28T23:38:00.001+01:00

I have a new toy!

It's a Sterling 'Sapphire' from the Amalgamated Dental Co. 1958-65. My chair is far nicer than the ones in the link. It's black with brown leather upholstery. It looks like the one in the foreground, same arms and same long foot board, but has the child seat like the green one in the middle. Oh and mine has a similar base to the middle one, but black, with the same elegantly curved chrome levers.

I imagine that there are a lot of dental fetishists out there who used to sit on similar models when they were young boys, being restrained by a red rubber clad dental nurse, as the black beauty mask descended upon their frightened little faces.

A hydraulic pump raises the seat whilst various levers tilt the seat back and lengthen the neck stand complete with adjustable 'mickey mouse ears' rubber head rests.

D and I collected the chair from several years storage so it was absolutely filthy. The leather upholstery needs some feeding and TLC to try and restore the original suppleness and the chrome trim all over the base could do with some wire wool to get rid of rust spots. Other than some other signs of knocks and bashes the chair is in perfect working order.

Before yesterday D was on a 'doing anything with his cock' ban. After watching him drag this 20st behemoth across wooden planks from van to lift, from lift to premises and then finally position it in exactly the right spot, dripping sweat and rippling muscle, I decided that the least I could do was let him play with his willy. Not yet though. I haven't decided when yet. But it will definitely be in the next week or so. Before the ban would have been lifted. It's only fair.

I'll get some pics of the new acquisition soon and I'll post them right here.

Thank goodness my subby puppy is the strong muscular sort. It turned me on a bit watching him grunt and groan and then collapse on the floor...

I may even trim his ears again.

.

Grooming D

2011-09-27T21:54:00.001+01:00

D is a very hairy man. There is hair everywhere. For his birthday I bought him a much needed ear and nose hair trimmer.

Pleasuring D

Handcuff him to the bed and trim his ears.

Torturing D

Handcuff him to the bed and trim his nasal cavities.

:D

Letting go

2011-09-24T11:47:00.002+01:00

I mentioned in my previous post about subs letting go.

I can't pretend in session. S&M and D/s or fetish play isn't about pretending anything. It's about expressing yourself and what is inside you. I can't bear to play with submissives who can't let go. I like to be able to teach them to let go but sometimes I think submissives have either been ruined or have ruined themselves.

I'm going to explain what I mean by this paragraph.

BDSM has many different roles. For some people it is something to occasionally spice up the usual sex life when the kids are on a sleepover at Grandma's, for others it's a social club where they get to share their interest, and play with, or in front of, like minded people, and for others it is something they live and breathe on a day to day basis because it expresses who they are. For others it is something kinky and naughty and the wife isn't interested. It's something they do on their own. They may even think they are the only one who thinks that way; that they are a freak, weird, perverted. Now, please don't think for a minute that these are the only reasons for practising BDSM, far from it, but I don't have the time and space to do that today. I just want to make a distinction: highlight the difference.

When you first become a PD you will see almost anybody. This is the only way you can experience what is out there and establish what you will and will not do, but more importantly who you will or will not see, as well as figuring out where you want to go and what you want to get out of professional domination yourself. As much as a PD is an individual with her own unique way of doing things with her own opinions and beliefs and reasons for doing for them, so are subs individuals with their own motivations and expectations. When you see anybody you see a huge range of motivations and expectations, sub > Mistress as well as Mistress > sub.

There is an establishment that is not so far from me. I haven't visited this premises. I don't know anyone who works there. My impression of the place is based entirely on what I have heard from clients who have patronised it. This is how I understand it operates. You knock on the door and you immediately realise that the building is occupied by several people. You can hear shouting and doors banging. A few minutes after it has been established who you are booked to see your Mistress comes to collect you. A few minutes of cursory chat and you're in session. After about 45 mins there is a knock on the door to remind the Mistress that time is up. You ejaculate and you get dressed and you leave.

If this is your only experience of submitting to a Mistress you're probably going to think it is the usual. I have seen subs who have regularly visited this place. This is how the session usually goes:

The client comes in and sits down. He is unable to relax as I talk to him to get to know him and what makes him tick. He is tense. He struggles to answer my questions. I don't think he has ever put how he feels, what he wants, what he needs, etc into words before. I tell him to take a shower. He's in and out of the shower in less than two minutes. When we enter my room he's practically putting himself into bondage, as quickly as possible. He doesn't seem to enjoy bondage for bondage sake, it's something to rush through to get to the next stage. During the session he receives what I do. He soaks it up. He gives nothing back. I have no input from him. No emotional input, no psychological input, and thus no rapport. Take, take, take. We get to the end of the session and he rips off his cuffs, quickly relieves himself, and disappears back to the bathroom where he jumps into his clothes and is trying to get out of the door as quickly as possible.

It makes me feel used. I am left feeling emotionally and physically drained because I was the only person putting any effort into the session. I feel used because I'm left with the empty cuffs and the spunk to clear up.

I feel used.

What is he feeling? Guilt? Guilt that he has cheated on his wife? Guilt that he has paid good money for an elaborate wank? Or perhaps he thinks that is what professional domination is? A rushed, hurried hour where all I am interested in is the colour of his money, and shooing him out before the next punter arrives. Where the sign of a successful session is his DNA deposit left behind on the couch.

Some of these clients do visibly relax when they realise I really do want to talk to them. You can see the relief lower their shoulders and relax the rest of their demeanour. One chap told me that he'd revealed more about himself in just ten minutes than he had ever told his previous Mistress for the several years that he'd been seeing her. Seriously? I was gobsmacked. A few guys have told me that they trust me implicitly after just 5 minutes of chat in the reception area before they have even stepped foot in my rooms. As flattering as it is I often wonder where the hell they have been before and why has it taken them so long to discover alternative options.

Some clients can't let go. They may not realise that they can't. They may think it isn't welcome. They may not want to because relaxing and enjoying the session for its own sake (and not just as a precursor to a much needed orgasm) is too much like cheating on their wife. I suppose that some men prefer to think of the entire experience as a seedy, dirty little secret because it is more titillating or because it is easier to compartmentalise and shove to the back of their mind. Some guys will get a lot of mileage out of feeling dirty and humiliated from seeing a PD. Unfortunately for me, these guys make me feel dirty and humiliated too. But that isn't my kink. If I continued to see the men with these attitudes I think I would end up hating all men. I think I would end up doing this job for the money until I could sort another living out somewhere well away from the sex industry.

Fortunately for me, I am managing to weed out the undesirables. Fortunately for me the other establishment is well known, very successful, and has a regular turnover of gorgeous young things who keep those sorts of men happy. If one does slip through and he isn't converting I have to disengage to make sure he can't make me feel dirty and used. So far they haven't come back. Perhaps the fact that I don't do hand jobs puts them off from ever returning. I do hope so.

But I do like rescuing the submissive male. I enjoy the surprise and delight on their faces when they realise they can experience real submission, albeit on a window of opportunity basis. I get back far more than I put in with these guys. They remind me every day why I love my job so much. These guys learn to express themselves and their secret desires, they get to know and share with me their deepest, darkest desires and thoughts. They satisfy the anthropologist in me who is forever fascinated by human sexuality, fetishes and kink. More importantly they learn that they aren't that unique or unusual because I've heard most of it before. A good Mistress is akin to a good counsellor or a therapist. If you feel as though you have made some ground, or you feel as though you understand yourself a little better, and your step is a little lighter, that you are accepted for who you are, then keep going back, but if you feel empty, or used, or sad (and not just because the session is over) then why are you going? What are you doing? Either stop, or look for another Mistress, look for someone who does suit your needs. You'll never discover what submission is until you let go, and you can only let go if you trust and respect the person you are with.

.

Loving a slave

2011-09-23T18:01:00.003+01:00

...Or Maintaining the D/s Dynamic.

A statement on a web forum has made me sit up and think.

'in order to maintain the M/s dynamic, I find I cannot allow my self the pleasure of feeling any deeper emotion than occasional affection'

I'm not going to comment on this particular Mistress' decision and dynamic between her and her live in slave other than as an example of a statement that I cannot identify with or relate to.

My slave, D, doesn't live with me yet, but as a fellow home worker we probably spend as much time together as perhaps the average married couple. We work together, we eat together, we sleep together, we shop together, we watch TV together and we have sex together. To spend this amount of time with someone, whatever it is we do, it has to be for real. Whatever your dynamic is, you have to be able to continue that pace, or dynamic, indefinitely, or you would both be exhausted, and very probably bored, very quickly.

I've always been a very casual sort of Dominatrix to my clients. I've never demanded 'no eye contact', I've never insisted they call me 'Mistress', I've never gone for the high protocol thing because it is too much like playing at it, rather than being it. It just isn't my cup of tea. I also have an intense dislike of rules and accepting other peoples' ideas about How Things Should Be Done. Instead I prefer to do what is right for me. To play how I want to play and sod everyone else.

A long time ago I decided to see only one client per day because I couldn't be true to myself and ensure a good session for my client and myself. I believe that it is possible to disengage emotionally and go through the motions and this is how, I think, some Pro Dommes manage to see several clients a day. If you step back you can invest less of yourself, and the emotional, mental and physical toll is greatly reduced. I've never been able to do this. It feels like cheating to me, cheating myself and cheating the client who has invested a considerable amount of money in what should be a special experience. If I ever caught myself disengaging I think I'd have to question if it was time for me to give up sessioning with clients altogether.

Instead I tend to throw myself into the session and the client. At the risk of a bit of self promotion I am bloody good at what I do because I play with the client. My client isn't just a walking wallet which I try to get in and out of the door as soon as I can because the next wallet is pulling up outside. My client isn't just a sub, or a slave, or a patient to me. My client becomes my playmate, and my responsibility, for the time he is with me, from the time he walks through the door to the time he leaves including pre-session chat and after session wind down. I eventually learn more about them, their families, their jobs, their frustrations, their fantasies and to some extent over time I become their counsellor, confidant and their therapist. This usually results in some responsibility outside of the session day as well. To an extent. But that is another blog.

Even if I beat them, make holes in them, fill holes in them or make them laugh and even cry I am still extremely fond of them and I like them enormously as people. If I don't like them I don't continue to see them. I can't invest any interest or concern into someone if I don't like them. I'm sure I could beat the shit out of them but I prefer to beat people I like.

I can't pretend in session. S&M and D/s or fetish play isn't about pretending anything. It's about expressing yourself and what is inside you. I can't bear to play with submissives who can't let go. I like to be able to teach them to let go but sometimes I think submissives have either been ruined or have ruined themselves. More on that later I think.

I don't role play. I don't play at Nurse. I don't play at Mistress. I'm not an actor (although if I was an actor, and I always wanted to be one when I was a kid, I'd be a method actor). It doesn't matter if I'm wearing a nurse uniform or a leather dress, I'm me, a woman who quite likes telling men what to do, enjoys employing every tactic and skill she has to make them do it, and huzzah!, has discovered she can make a good living from doing so.

That's professional domination.

In my personal relationship with D, he is fast learning that for me S&M and D/s isn't just a bit of kink or role play to spice up the sex life. Nor is it something I do to please him. I'm not saying that is all he thinks it is, far from it, I just mean that he has discovered recently that discipline isn't just about kink and our mutual pleasure. Sometimes discipline is unwanted and it can bloody hurt.

The other day D let me down. I had made comment about this particular domestic thing several times before, as well as offered (well, told...*ahem*) a solution to the problem. Despite this I was presented with this particular domestic thing again, and worse! Whilst I was silently fuming D had in great expectation already undressed, jumped into bed and when I walked into the room all I saw was him waiting with a big grin of anticipation on his face.

"Turn over", I said, as I picked up the leather strap.

One look at my face and his fell. He turned over.

THWACK! on his backside.

As I beat him I told him exactly why I was doing so. He needed to be chastised as a real punishment because he had disappointed me and let me down. Even worse he had let himself down. He thought I was angry but I wasn't. I would never punish in anger as it achieves nothing but distrust and fear. I don't want D to fear me, I want him to please me, and continue to please me and gain enjoyment for doing so. Good behaviour is rewarded of course but bad behaviour must be addressed. Thoroughly and unforgettably.

D wasn't laughing. He wasn't grinning. He wasn't aroused either. This was nothing to do with sexy kinky naughty stuff. This was a genuine punishment. Did he learn though? Humph. A couple of days later he did his chores but there was a bit of defiance that couldn't be unaddressed. I'm not doing this for laughs and I can't bear brattiness. Being a brat, or being cheeky, isn't funny. It is a tactic to try and disobey. He received another strapping on the bruises from the last strapping. He also had his hands strapped when he tried to rub his buttocks.

"Owww! That hurt!!" He yelled. Well done D, you're starting to get the message. This is FOR REAL my love. All the time.

So, in conclusion, to wrap up everything on this post....if you're trying to maintain a dynamic I'd respectfully suggest that something is wrong. To have to maintain something makes me think that you're playing a role, rather than doing what comes naturally.

For me, there is very little difference between my professional domming and my lifestyle domming. I of course mean the way in which I do it, not what I do. Activity wise the differences are huge. But the way I conduct myself, or approach what I do is remarkably similar. It's similar because it's me. No matter what I do it is 100% genuinely me, and not a persona I cooked up to become for a few hours a week.

I continue to play with my regular clients because I feel more than occasional affection. I feel empathy, and often sympathy for them. I invest huge amounts of time in them. I try to develop them. I try to help them discover what really makes them tick. I try to turn them inside out. I try to take them apart and then I carefully put them together again. I try to send them home with a greater understanding of themselves, with a smile on their face and a spring in their step.

I play with D because I feel total love for him and as I explained in the above paragraph with my clients I am deconstructing him and reassembling him with glue that is far stronger than he had before. When I punish him, I admit do feel better for it, but it is primarily because he needs to be brought back to heel so that he can continue to develop and grow as a better person and a better slave. I punish him because I love him. If a client showed defiance I would probably just dismiss them because I have nothing to prove to anyone and I wouldn't be prepared to invest any further. D gets thoroughly punished but he doesn't have the luxury of withdrawing his consent.

I couldn't run my professional and private life differently. But then I have no need to.

Who's Eunice?

2011-09-20T00:18:00.001+01:00

Once upon a time when D was a client he called me to book another session.

"Hello?"

"Hello, is that Eunice?"

"No, sorry you must have the wrong number."

<pause>

"It's D, is that Eunice?"

"No. You've got the wrong number! There's no Eunice here."

"Who's Eunice? It's D. Is that you Miss?"

That conversation pretty much set the tone for our entire relationship.

:D

I slept...

2011-09-18T08:59:00.000+01:00

with an erection last night.

D usually sleeps in some cuffs. The type of cuff varies depending on whether he needs to get himself out of them the next morning, or if he wants to do some work before I wake up. Last night, as we were waking up together I put him in a waist chain where the cuffs can be situated to the front or swivelled around and situated to the back. I decided to put them to the back so that he had to sleep with his hands behind his back. He also had to wear ankle cuffs with strict instructions not to drag them across the laminated bedroom floor.

When he went to sleep he had an erection.

When he shuffled to the loo in the middle of the night he had an erection.

When I woke up he was grinning at me...with an erection.

"Did you sleep at all last night?"

"Yeah".

"Have you had an erection all night?"

"Yeeeaaahhhhhhh!"

Breaking D

2011-09-15T10:52:00.003+01:00

One of my favourite activities is urethral sounding. I love it. I take great pleasure in introducing the dubious, re-introducing the ones who had previously submitted to some inferior sounders, and stretching the experienced.

Most objections, when there are any, are through ignorance of what sounding is. Many assume that it will hurt. They are so convinced that it will hurt that they start howling until I either tell them to shut up , and/or they realise that actually, it feels really nice and doesn't hurt at all. Unless they are prepared to lie back and trust me it'll never work.

When D and I got together I soon discovered that he hates the idea. Really really squeamish. Now, don't get me wrong, I respect limits, but I do see a huge difference between a hard limit and a soft one. I also see a hard limit that is based purely on ignorance and assumption as something that needs to be slowly smashed down. Of course, the decision to do this or just leave it depends on their level of submission to me and their amount of trust in me. Some guys just can't let go during submission in which case there is no point in pushing it.

D trusts me implicitly so he trusted me to introduce him to sounds. Rather than give him enough warning to get himself into a tizz I announced my intentions during filming. Cruel? I don't think so. We'd agreed to do it, I just hadn't said when. It turns out that D wasn't just squeamish, he was truly terrified. He shook like a leaf, he trembled, he hyperventilated, he was nearly sick, and he cried. At that point I stopped, held him and cuddled him until he stopped shaking. I also made sure that the cameraman had it all on film.

I'd never had a reaction like it. It was an eye opener. It was quite humbling too that despite his obvious phobia D was still prepared to let me try and introduce him. I love him so much.

It doesn't end there. D now knows through experience that it doesn't hurt, that I was telling the truth. He knows that his phobia is based on assumption and a mental block that can't accept anything inserted into his penis. I intend to continue with this project and I will probably break him further, but when we do achieve full insertion it will bring closer together as Mistress and slave, as well as closer as lovers.

Breaking a slave is acceptable. Breaking limits are acceptable in certain situations. The important thing to remember is to put them back together again. Break them down, deconstruct them. Pull them apart but when you do reassemble them make sure they are stronger than they were before.

Airport Security and Chastity

2011-09-13T22:40:00.000+01:00

D is in chastity. He wears a CB6000 whenever he is away from me. When he is with me he may, or may not, be allowed to take it off to give him a break and allow him to wash himself and his device.

We did the usual thing of ensuring that he has an emergency key - just in case - taped up securely in an empty TicTac box. After a few months of this we started to wonder what the emergency could possibly be. D said that he'd prefer not to have a key so we decided to withdraw it. The problem was, he couldn't find it. So much for an emergency key eh? ^ ^

This evening I received a call from Germany where D is away on business. This was obviously one of those occasions when he was granted a break from his device. He went through security with his rucksack but was called over to the side so that his bag could be searched.

Guess what the security officer found? A sellotaped TicTac box complete with key! Fortunately for a sweating D no comment was made and no question was asked.

This is....

2011-09-10T12:06:00.000+01:00

...the sort of rubbish that we find in our inboxes across various fora.

you are such a cute girl i can´t resist and want you to know i would love to kneel in front of you and inhale the scent from your divine feet while you guide me into a very deep and mindless trance, very submissive and ready to obey all your words and with each breath in and out, each time i inhale... and smell these perfect soles i will fall 100 times deeper for you mhhhhhhhhh

this would be so cool !!!!!!!

The above is everything about him and his fetishes, needs and wants and absolutely nothing about me as a person, a woman, least of all as a domme.

I think I am supposed to be flattered. I think I am supposed to be honoured. I think I am supposed to be so flattered and honoured that I will reply to him and enter into a wonderful cyber relationship where he takes and I give.

I know that he has said exactly the same sort of thing to dozens of other women.

I'll leave him to it. He seems to be enjoying himself.

"HOW much?"

2011-09-09T20:42:00.003+01:00

He spluttered when I told him my hourly rate.

"That's a lot isn't it?"

Compared to what? Compared to fish and chips? A pint of beer? A ticket for a footie match? The cost of buying and maintaining an air-conditioned exclusive unshared apartment full of fetish clothing, authentic equipment, bespoke furniture, top of the range toys that is ready and waiting for whenever you want to book it? Never mind the experienced and highly skilled Mistress who will only see one client per day to ensure quality and enjoyment.

Yes, I suppose my rate is higher than the national average, but then did the average PD spend £17,000 on moving into a very discreet purpose-refurbished apartment, new furniture, kit, toys and consumables last year?

I think not.

Rather than question my rate, go and look at the website, read the equipment lists and look at the photographs. I do have what I say I have. That is my premises. I also do what I say I do.

Instead of "How much?" it should be "Is that all?"

YouTube SchmooTube

2011-09-09T17:33:00.000+01:00

I've just had a notification from YouTube that one of my videos has been removed for violating their community guidelines. O-kaaaay. But what precisely?

If you click on Mr Jones - op it says

This video has been removed as a violation of YouTube's policy on nudity or sexual content.
Sorry about that.

I find this odd because the video contains neither. There is nothing overtly sexual about anaesthestic role play. Only fetishists would find it sexual.

I'll have to see how long my other films last.

New toys

2011-09-09T14:12:00.000+01:00

I love new toys. I love either researching a new idea and then realising it or alternatively I stumble across something that I hadn't even considered because I didn't know it existed.

The first example is my Segufix collection: medical restraints with an ingenious magnetic lock and key system. I bought my first piece, the head restraint, a couple of years ago. Unfortunately I had a problem with one of the locks and we ended up having to hacksaw the offending lock off and revert to the tried and trusted padlock and key method. Two years later and my unfailing belief in German engineering I now have a complete set of Segufix restraints which look beautiful on a naked patient.

The second example of a 'never heard of it before but sure it will work splendidly' is a vacuum mattress. It is a genuine emergency medical product. You place the casualty on the mattress. Do up the belts. Expel the air. As the air leaves the mattress the polystyrene balls are trapped in the heavy duty plastic mattress cover and they form a rigid shell around the casualty to prevent further trauma whilst in transit.

Fan-tas-tic! I ordered one. We tried it out yesterday.

I also filmed us trying both restraint systems out but I held my iPhone up the wrong way and the film is the wrong way around. Doh!

Session buzz

2011-09-08T08:11:00.000+01:00

After my mild rant yesterday I got to thinking about the highs of professional domination. You see, I had a great session yesterday. Now don't think that my other sessions weren't so great because I haven't blogged about them, they usually are, that's the good thing about having a group of regulars, guaranteed good sessions that develop and change, and I will be blogging about them in the future.

One of the reasons why yesterday's session was so great was because I am really getting to understand a new bit of kit. It has taken some experimentation to get it just right, to get the reaction that I am hoping for. It's now so finely tuned and understood that I can get the reaction that I want within just a minute or so...or I can take as long as I want.

Of course the other reason why the session was so great is because I know it will always be different with someone else. It will even be different with yesterday's patient on another day. That's the pleasure I get: experimenting, reading, judging and ultimately...victory.

Zzzzzzzzz......

Closing my books

2011-09-07T20:06:00.002+01:00

I'm considering closing my books to new clients. I've been thinking about it for a while now because I have a rather special group of play partners who should be able to book as and when they want, without me having to refuse them because an unknown client has booked, and may not turn up.

Even now, after all these years, using a questionnaire, and being quite difficult to get hold of I still get potential clients who book, and fail to confirm. It doesn't happen often, maybe once a month or so. Fortunately I often have an eager regular on standby who is only too willing to use the opportunity to get a last minute appointment with me. But the point is, I shouldn't have to sit waiting by the telephone, I shouldn't get timewasters who bottle it, or worse, never intended to come and see me and more to the point my regular clients shouldn't have to hang around waiting to see if I am available.

Even now I have to take a steady breath and compose myself before answering my mobile because 9 times out of 10 it will be someone who can't be arsed to read my website, or who thinks I'm willing to see a complete stranger that night for an hour of - I suspect - sex.

Believe it or not, some guys complete my questionnaire, get accepted and then fail to book. Why waste both our time?

I love the great bits about being a pro domme. I love being able to play with different people who provide me with different reactions, different fetishes to investigate and play with, different discoveries, different conclusions ad of course I love being paid for it too. Double the pleasure. I love having the budget to buy new toys, different toys, toys that nobody else has. This generous budget comes from being a pro domme. I will never downplay the fiscal side of my career choice to satisfy the pro haters. I'm not ashamed about charging a fee to play with me. How much of this do you think I'd be able to do if I had to hold down a full time job too? I love the free time to spend on my other projects. My member site is coming along a treat and I have a new project looming on the not so distant horizon which needs my attention.

The things I don't love are the timewasters, or the haters, the ones who think that all pro dommes are the same as the worst of our kind, the ones who can't distinguish between pro domme and scam artist. I don't love the guys who think I am part of a transaction, the guys who think that they pay and I provide, the guys who think I should dress to please them and sod what I might want to wear. I particularly don't love the jealous and envious. Get over yourself, love, you're really not all that.

In conclusion, the best thing to do is concentrate on what brings me joy and cut out what causes angst. I have a great group of regular clients. If you want to join that group you should pull your finger out and make yourself known because the day I say 'No more new clients' is getting closer and closer.

.

Short break

2011-09-07T19:41:00.000+01:00

Yep. Another one.

I'm taking the week commencing the 19th September off to spend some time with D, catch up with some shopping, do some jobs, laze around and have lots of sex.

Book now or wait patiently.

Saturday night

2011-09-03T22:00:00.000+01:00

I love Saturday nights. I especially love Saturday nights when Doctor Who is on. D doesn't really get into Doctor Who so I take the opportunity to stick him in something so that I can watch one of my favourite programmes in peace. He gets to sit on the sofa in something unconventional and restrictive and I can imagine I'm in the TARDIS.

A while ago now D showed me this amazing punishment dress on the internet. It was so impressive we bought it. It is very long, very slim, made of Hessian, and has several padlocks and chains to make the dress into a hobble style. As you know I am rather partial to Hessian because D hates/loves it. He loves the idea but hates the itchy, scratchy reality. Win/win as far as I am concerned.

One of the best features of Doctor Who is the various monsters, like tonight's episode with the monsters in the cupboard. Scary puppet like figures that are humanoid but very definitely not human.

Something like this:

Slave of Mine

Good grief! It was as if The Family of Blood had landed!

This is funny. After Doctor Who had finished, and I needed some refreshments fetching from the kitchen, I unlocked him from his dress. As he was shifting about on the bed struggling to get out of the Hessian without actually touching it (as if) we heard an almighty crack. I investigated and found the dress' coat hanger (now broken) was still inside the dress. He was in such a hurry to be put into it he, well, what did he do? I still can't figure out how you can leave the coat hanger inside your clothing and not notice.

Doh!

Dress up dolls

2011-09-02T00:36:00.004+01:00

It shouldn't amaze me any more. But it does.

Female Domination is, for some people, less about actual domination, psychodrama and careful manipulation of desire and kink to make you submit to her will and wiles and more about 'what is she going to wear for me?'

I carefully explain on my website that although I am aware and sympathetic towards particular fetishes for fabrics, and clothing items, I am more concerned about my own comfort. If I am comfortable I can enjoy myself. If I am enjoying myself the session will be enjoyable for the client. How can a woman clamber all over you and climb into your head if she is impeded by the sort of media popular restrictive outfit dreamed up by an oversexed spotty adolescent fulfilling his wildest Zena: Warrior Princess fantasies?

I then ask on my application form for any clothing requests that they would like me to consider wearing subject to my discretion regarding fabric, ie stockings, leather rubber. I also warn them that 'I am not a clothes horse for their fetish'.

Despite this I get the occasion request for very specific clothing. I'll give you an example.

clothingrequest: Tight leather or rubber clothing with high heeled thigh high leather boots. Short skirt is preferred but not essential together will a cleavage revealing top. Dark seamed stockings held up with suspenders.

Seriously? You read my website and still thought I was the sort of Domme who would dress to please a client to such specific and detailed lengths? Did you read my website at all?

Perhaps I want you to fulfil my sexual fantasies. Did you even consider that?

One applicant was asked something similar to the above and he retorted that I should make an effort for my clients. Er no. YOU should make an effort to make sure you have chosen a suitable Mistress. I have done my bit by writing a very comprehensive website that tells the careful reader that I do this for myself and you are welcome to join me, but don't ever expect me to pander to your fetish. I am a person with their own needs and wants too.

Some Mistresses will happily wear whatever is requested and as such have a wardrobe that would keep Mr Benn happy for years. I have a very modest wardrobe because I rely on my skills, and not my clothing to keep my clients happy. If you desperately need a Mistress to wear thigh high leather boots before you can consider your brand of submission then please go and find someone who is willing and happy to wear them and buy her some.

That said, before some of my current fetishists cringe with embarrassment and worry that I am resentful of our sessions, don't worry. I'm not going to start sessioning in my pyjamas, or an old tracksuit. If I want to wear an outfit that will enhance (rather than hinder) our session, then I will. If I know that you have a weakness for a particular item of clothing then I may use that to my own advantage, to weaken you, for my pleasure. I have never worn anything that I don't want to wear for myself.

So why then do I ask them to make a request? Think about it. How else do I sort the wheat from the chaff? How else do I detect the clients who think I am only there to provide them with what they want, how they want it, when they want it?

The point is, I am an equal play partner with you.

If I enjoy it, you enjoy it.

If you enjoy it, I enjoy it.

Not Lady Anna


Also not Lady Anna

Mortified

2011-08-26T10:31:00.001+01:00

From time to time a random stranger abuses me online. I say random, but after a while the penny drops as to who they are. This is soon confirmed one way or another due to the power of the internet.

So who are they? Sometimes they are a sad little case who go by another username on another forum. There doesn't appear to be any reason for their cyber-hate other than they just don't like me. How anyone can hate or dislike someone based on their online postings still amazes me. One chap seemed to be frothing at the mouth with his constant attempts at belittlement. If you read something and you dislike the person based on their words with no idea of how they said it because the written word is toneless, emotionless and lacking in inflection, well there is only one word for it - transference. Get over it.

The other example is when the person, who seems determined to deliberately misconstrue everything you say or do, is a client of another Mistress. Why would a client of another Mistress spend so much time trying to discredit me? His affiliation isn't a mystery. Once I found his blog I knew exactly who she is. It all slots into place though. The curious inability to understand what I am saying. The persistent misquoting and deliberate reading out of context. The personal jibes and insults. Calling anything I do (and she apparently doesn't) stupidity.

But this blog isn't about these individuals. They don't need or deserve any attention or thought. As a good friend often reminds me: don't let them live rent free in your head. It occurred to me last night after reading another jibe from one of these individuals (months and months after his last attack) that if I was his Mistress I would be mortified.

I would be embarrassed if one of my clients started attacking another Mistress. I would be excruciatingly ashamed and I would have to stop seeing him. Would casual observers (other posters) think I had encouraged him? How would it not reflect back on me in the most unflattering of ways? Am I really that threatened by another Mistress that I would knowingly allow one of my clients to heckle her online at every given opportunity?

I represent myself. I don't want anyone representing me on my behalf. I certainly do not want any of my clients attacking another Mistress.

I feel embarrassed for his Mistress.

Mortified.

Tin man

2011-08-23T21:50:00.000+01:00

So we've bought this pretty amazing stainless steel helmet/mask for D to wear. I can't describe it enough to do it justice. You'll have to see a pic of it.

As you can see, D loves it.

It is severe though, really unforgiving, so I thought we ought to slowly break D into wearing it. So far I have attached him to the bed head so he can't move his head, but the rest of him is fairly free to move about. I got on with some tidying up and ironing and he lay there in bondage able to listen to me and know that I am around and that he isn't on his own. He was so relaxed that he dropped off at one point.

The next time we used it I handcuffed him to the bed head with his arms outstretched and shackled his ankles to the foot board. He wasn't able to move quite so easily, if at all, but knowing I was around he became very passive and relaxed again.

"You like it in there, don't you?"

"Yeee-es, Miss."

"I've been thinking. That helmet must be really hard?"

"Yes, Miss."

"I was thinking that it may benefit you to have something soft in there to cushion your head."

"Like what? A cushion?"

"No silly. Your Hessian hood."

"Awwwww nooooooooooo, that would be hell! It would itch and I wouldn't be able to scratch! That would be terrible. You're cruel!"

I laughed.

Silence.

D: "....I don't know why I didn't think of that..."

Standing up to pee

2011-08-22T11:47:00.000+01:00

People who know me know I can't understand why men have to pee in the house. What is wrong with sitting down in a civilised way, like women do?

I think I have figured it out. After a summer of wearing dresses I went back into my jeans on a particularly unseasonal day. When I wear jeans I often do without my handbag. My phone, card and loose change go in my jeans pockets instead. Good grief! Every time I went for a wee I had loose change rolling all over the floor and my iPhone narrowly missed ending up in the toilet bowl.

So, obvious conclusion is that men stand up to pee because they don't use handbags. Men, get yourself a nice manbag. You can keep your phone, your wallet, your loose change inside the bag and then you can sit down to pee without chasing all of your belongings across the floor or down the bowl.

To validate my argument and conclusion I decided to try the peeing thing from the male perspective. I purchased a Shenis not so long back and was dying to try it out. The Shenis, for those of you who are innocent of such things, is a gold coloured, hollow phallic attachment that sits snugly around the female genitalia enabling the woman to pee like a man.

It was novel. I'm not sure that I'd want to carry my Shenis around in my handbag or my back pocket or even down my trousers but I can see plenty of interesting ways to utilise such a device with subs and slaves. I've already told D that I will be sitting him in the bath and peeing on him with it.

Please note boys: look, there is no need to lift the toilet seat. No need at all. You just need to have better aim and not be so enthusiastic in your shaking it off.

Perspective

2011-08-21T13:53:00.001+01:00

There is a popular opinion in the world of BDSM that a Dominant is not a good Dominant unless they try out for themselves what they intend to subject their submissive to. In other words, see how you would like it.

The idea behind this thought is that the Dominant will show appropriate empathy. Heck, some people even go so far to say that only a submissive, or one who has submitted can ever really, truly understand and empathise with the sub. That only a submissive can ever be a really good Dominant.

I've always found it curious that a sub is never considered a twue sub unless they have dominated someone else. As is often the case with these wacky and dare I say subversive opinions is that they never quite follow through.

But hey, I'm just a professional who only does it for the money and what was the other one, ah yes, I'm only dom because I'm in denial. Yawnarama.

Anyhoo, with all of this in mind I thought I really ought to try some urethral sounding for myself. Even better I'll get my slave to do it. That way I can become a weally weally twue Domme.

The results are below.

Can't see what the fuss is all about myself.

D's new coat

2011-08-20T10:12:00.005+01:00

D treated himself to not one but two PVC coats a couple of weeks ago. After a lot of impatient excitement they finally got delivered yesterday. One is a plain navy blue but the other is stunning, it's a glossy see through red ladies coat. It's gorgeous.

He was instructed to wear it whilst he did his chores before I got home and he had to wear it for the rest of the evening whilst we watched Scarface (the Al Pacino one). I was so taken with the sight of an extremely aroused naked man in red see thru gloss that I told him he had to wear it in bed too. Not that I had to do anything in the way of telling or commanding or anything...he was extremely eager.

It was like sleeping with a giant Gummi Bear.

Giant Gummi Bear

D (middle row, left) and friends

Don't tell him but if D is really, really good today I might wear that coat tonight.

^_^

My boy

2011-08-19T23:09:00.000+01:00

...really knows how to turn me on.

Behind bars

2011-08-19T00:07:00.002+01:00

As much as I love having D around me, scratching my back, fetching me some chamomile tea, listening to me talk, he is still around. Moving, breathing, generally just distracting me from my work. Sometimes I need to be able to concentrate without being kissed and cuddled all the time.

The only option is to tell him to strip, attach his belly chain and cuffs, march him downstairs and lock him in the puppy cage.

"It's cold" he chatters through his over-acting teeth.

I fetch his Hessian blanket, unlock the door to the cage, and throw it in. I lock the cellar doors, turn off the cellar lights, and return to my work. Half an hour later, after a couple of emails to my hosting company and my security company I go and fetch him. I needed a cup of tea by this time.

I unlock the door, flick the lights on, descend downstairs, unlock the coal cellar door and there he is. All forlorn and pathetic looking, but at the same time hopeful. I unlock the cage door.

"That was really difficult," he says, "it's a struggle after a while."

"I bet you haven't got a stiffy now, have you?"

"I did have."

"Did it get scary after the excitement wore off and the stiffy died?"

"Yeah."

I give him a cuddle and a kiss.

"Ooooooo look, my stiffy has come back."

You can't keep a good man, or slave, down.

^_^

The responsibility of power

2011-08-17T14:49:00.005+01:00

....and the power of responsibility.

I've had an inner discussion with myself for a number of weeks now. I often talk to myself. Putting thoughts into words is sometimes the only way to make sense of the thoughts. I console myself that I don't actually form the words with my lips, or worst talk aloud. Now that would be embarrassing.

I digress. Apparently it was Spiderman who said "With great power comes great responsibility"‎. A smart chap. Somehow though I don't think he was referring to domination. Maybe it was something to do with world domination, but definitely not my sort of domination, although it applies equally.

In my profession I encounter a lot of men with very strong, ingrained, impossible-to-ignore-for-very-long fetishes. The medical establishment advises that a fetish is an [abnormal] sexual attraction to an inanimate object ie a shoe, or plastic pants, anything really (heck, I know of one guy who can only orgasm if he is banging a door - wardrobe or bedroom door, he isn't fussed). This is far too simplistic and ignores the larger world of fetishism and sexuality.

I play with a lot of anaesthetic role play fetishists. Interestingly, all but one of them vividly remember receiving gas, usually as a prepubescent, at the dentist. The recollections barely differ. They remember the sight and smell of rubber, of masks, hoses, aprons, a female nurse who stroked their hand or their cheek, and then pinned them down if they struggled, all the while making soothing noises telling them that they were a 'good boy'. Terrified little boys being held close to a red rubber clad bosom as they drifted away and were gently lowered into the dentist's chair. The resulting fetish doesn't usually kick in until their early teens when an article or film with a similar theme triggers memories of the incident, but this time with lashings and lashings of eroticism resulting in the biggest erection they have so far produced. Piqued interest and the internet often results in joining Yahoo groups or similar where they find other people with similar fetishes and information is freely exchanged, collated and enjoyed. More importantly if lots of people have the same fetish then it doesn't mean they are weird or a freak.

It's a curious thing but it appears that in order to soften traumatic memories the brain eroticises them. It is not uncommon for people to role play past terrors and take advantage of the power that they didn't have then, but have now. I have read of rape victims who indulge in rape play. Replacing the unwanted memories of non-consent with fresher, more enjoyable consensual rape is a coping tactic. I don't for a minute think that this would suit everyone but it clearly suits some.

So we have a man with a fetish. In order to enjoy his fetish he needs someone else to enable it. Preferably someone who enjoys it. The more authentic it is the better. Discretion and professionalism is desirable. Unless they are lucky enough to find someone who will do all of this for free they go and see a professional. The professional is good. The professional is excellent and thus a realistic scene is reproduced transporting the man back to the little boy but with the knowledge and understanding of the man. The fetishist is overjoyed. He has found It, and he has found Her.

It is now within the fetishist's best interests to ensure that the professional is always going to be available. The solvent clients will often source and purchase additional items to enhance the experience. The very solvent will help purchase larger items. The wealthy may assist by paying her rent. This is where things can get a little tricky. This is where the Mistress can abuse her power, or rather the power of the fetish over the client. If the client receives a fair exchange well, then it is of course fair. In many cases however the client doesn't. But the fetish is powerful. He needs her. He forgives her and continues to support her and purchase expensive items for her until finally even he has had enough. By this time he could be out of pocket by thousands. Not only that but the friendship he thought he had never existed.

I am in a lifestyle relationship with D. I hold all the cards (the credit ones too). The power and the potential for the abuse of that power is exactly the same as above. I don't mean fiscally, but also emotional betrayal and plain old taking advantage for my own benefit. In me D has found his perfect partner. I equal him in terms of sex drive, kinkiness and fetish. Long gone are the days when he had to belittle himself and beg for his lover to wear a bit of PVC. Now he has someone with as many PVC based links in her Bookmarks as he has. And handcuffs. And bondage, and....you get the picture. He doesn't have to worry that I am suffocating him with plastic bags for him. He can relax knowing I am getting just as much pleasure as him, usually more.

Very recently D has given me more control over his finances and life. I have his credit cards, PINs, passwords to his email accounts and we're going to set him up with internet banking so I can oversee his accounts and even pay his bills for him the 21st century way. [seriously though, who still pays bills with cheques?] I could abuse this trust. I could spend up to his credit limits, help myself to his current account and just smile sweetly as I open up a parcel full of new PVC. Then I could demand he cleans the guinea pigs out and mops the floor - just because I can [ha ha]. Where else is D going to get anyone who is even a fraction of me? How much would he put up with before enough was finally enough? I'm fairly sure I won't take advantage of D and his good nature. Having been in a relationship where I was completely unappreciated and my good nature taken advantage of I'd never inflict that on someone else. It's hell.

Of course a client, or D, isn't being forced into anything, they don't have to purchase expensive dentist chairs or hand over their passwords. They do it to show trust and faith. They may also do it for entirely non-altruistic reasons too but still, the responsibility that a PD/Dominant has is immense. Immeasurable. Controlling someone's fetish is akin to controlling them. It has to be one of the biggest hooks there is. Who doesn't like to feel euphoria? What would you do to guarantee more? Would you give your enabler more money? Or would you keep accepting money because it is given so freely?

I'm not saying that the Mistress is the only person with responsibility. People are responsible for their own actions. Giving cash to someone or handing over your passwords is within your control. I just wonder how much easier it is to take advantage of someone who is easily manipulated simply because of the power that you wield over them.

My spidey senses tell me that I'm too ethical and moral to knowingly take advantage of my position but I wonder if sometimes it would be impossible to say 'no, that's enough, thank you, I can manage' to such well meaning, and timely, generosity. When does the monster take over?

-_-

Couples and their Bloggery

2011-08-16T09:51:00.000+01:00

D has really taken to this blogging lark. Considering that a few weeks ago he really didn't know what it was, why anyone would do it and least of all how to do it, he is always looking forward to his next blog with alarming enthusiasm. Most mornings I am woken by him clanking as he taps away on his laptop with his handcuffs on. Put him in PVC as well as his handcuffs and he's bursting with the need to express how he feels about everything that we do.

Although not strictly a couples' blog (as we have two separate blogs) it made me laugh to read this article in the Guardian. Are we also over sharing? But then if someone is reading a blog they are doing it only because they are interested. With Facebook and Twitter you are assaulted by the sugar coated declarations of love and mush every time you log on (unless you defriend them or unfollow them which can be a declaration of war in some cases). A blog has to be actively read and thus is easily ignored.

If D and I continue to blog about our lives and gain more than a handful of hits per day I wonder if we'd ever get a lucrative sponsorship deal? Hiatt? PVC-U-Like? Shopping trolleys?

^_^

Sunday morning

2011-08-14T18:46:00.001+01:00

I had to get up and go to the loo twice.
You know why? Because of this device.

It's not everyone who is woken up with poetry from a slave wearing handcuffs, a plastic apron and a CB3000.

^_^

"I'm hot"

2011-08-13T21:24:00.001+01:00

D says when we're sat talking during a warm Saturday evening.

"Well you are wearing your long length navy blue PVC apron. I'm not surprised."

"Well I like it."

"But that is why you are hot. It is August."

"I know."

"Why don't you take it off then?"

"Because I like it."

What a perv! ^_^

"The SM Judge"

2011-08-12T19:26:00.000+01:00

Or "SM Rechter" to give it its correct title is a film based on a true story, A Belgian judge is finally told by his extremely depressed wife (of 15 years, after her nervous breakdown) that she has fantasised about SM for 30 years. She wants and needs him to hurt her in order to be happy.

At first he is reluctant because he loves her and can't see how he could hurt her or why she would want it. The film follows their foray into the SM scene and Magda, his wife, blossoms. Apart from some truly hideous moustaches worn by the Masters (one of which was a total knob) the BDSM scenes were really authentic and done very well. Unfortunately for the couple, one of their SM contacts is wanted by the police for sexual crimes. He is arrested and as part of his defence he gives the name of the judge along with photos of his wife taken during play (but without the couples' consent or knowledge).

The film then seems to dive into a really shocking account of the authorities' insistence that Magda is a victim of abuse; that her husband tortured her, and pimped her against her wishes. Like the infamous and homophobic Spanner Trials the authorities are determined and resistant to the idea that SM can be pleasurable or consensual, instead insisting on referring to consensual activity as abuse, referring to Magda as a victim, and concluding that the judge, Koen, is unfit to continue with his profession. Koen receives a one year suspended sentence and is dismissed with no right to his pension.

The moral of the story is that if you are in a good job that relies on 'projecting the right image' don't have any evidence of your SM activities because they will be used as evidence against you. [In the Spanner trials they were edited to show the activities in the worst possible light to ensure a shocked jury, a guaranteed result and a lengthy conviction].

As Magda herself said in the film. The DSM may categorise SM as sexual deviation but this is the same book that categorised homosexuality as sexual deviation.

Below is a link to the trailer on YouTube. The DVD can be purchased from Amazon.

Trailer

The Anna List Medical Fetish Clinic - Members Site - comments

2011-08-07T10:06:00.000+01:00

I think, so far, that my new member site is a success. People keep joining. Some people come back the next month. Some are swapping from one off payments to recurring. The number of active subscribers is growing every week. So, I think, I can presume that this means my site is good.

The weird thing is though, that only two or three members have given me any feedback. I've added their comments to the bottom of my Join page. One member has given me some filming suggestions which has been filed for future reference, but only two or three are making contact. I know many people don't rate recommendations, particularly non-substantiated ones, in case they are fake, but I've never had to resort to those tactics. Any feedback that has been published on my sites have been 100% genuine.

You know if a shop or a restaurant is any good because you can see the customers and the patrons inside. You know if a product is any good because you can see other people wearing or using it. But how how do you know if a member site is any good? It may be too much of a risk to join up and find it isn't any good so surely comments by other members are valuable?

As soon as I get some more material in my library of films I'll submit my site to the various review sites for a honest review and rating, but until then I rely on my members to let me know that all the hard work is worth it.

Rain!

2011-08-06T12:38:00.000+01:00

Look at the weather! Overcast skies and constant rain.

I just know that D will be hoping that I decide to wear my long black PVC coat.

I might well wear it, but it won't be outdoors ;)

Knock knock

2011-08-05T09:10:00.001+01:00

The postman with a parcel to sign for. Did I order something again?

Nope. It is an inflatable red rubber pillow. I know who sent that to me. :)

Dankeschön! ^-^

A compliment

2011-08-04T23:26:00.000+01:00

I saw a new client today. He said something that was really very, very nice and quite meaningful to me. It was along the lines of...

"You clearly aren't here to provide a service, you are here to receive".

I really liked that. I agree with it and I'm glad that he recognised it. I'm not there to provide a service for somebody. I am there for you to come and play with me. I do receive. I receive the client's mind, body and trust, and willingness to let go and enjoy himself.

Yeah. I like that.

Poor D

2011-08-04T23:19:00.001+01:00

Sometimes I feel sorry for D.

There he was, slowly realising his dreams of female domination by visiting pro dommes, and fortunately for me not picking very good ones. Then, as a last resort, almost giving up, he searched again and found me. The rest is history as they say. Girl meets boy, girl watches boy in the shower, girl employs boy as a maid, girl decides to keep boy and girl collars him and tells him he belongs to her now. I can almost envisage the Mills & Boon cover.

Poor D though. He misses his sessions. We do play of course but it isn't like sessioning. Not in the slightest bit. I'll write more about that later when I have ruminated on it a bit more. This is more to do with him having just a taste of sessioning with me, then being thrown into a maid uniform to do the cleaning, and then being thrown into my bed - and no more sessions.

Of course there is no reason why I can't take him to my premises and play there but it's not quite right. My premises is work pleasure but my home is intimate pleasure. I find it difficult to take my work head off when I'm in my premises. As soon as I walk through my door I get into a particular mood and it's not the same mood as I have when we are together in my home. It's most odd. I think work is play whereas home is just us.

Has he missed out, or has he hit the jackpot?

Hmmmmmmmmmm..........

D's new shopping trolley

2011-08-02T17:05:00.001+01:00

I've bought my slave a present. We've just been into town to pick it up. I don't know why the saleslady assumed it was for me.

We walked through town with it and browsed in a couple of shop windows when the best thing happened. A mum and her 12yr old son spotted D pulling the trolley.

"Oooo I could do with one of those"

"No waaaay, Mum!"

"I could get one in pink"

"Noooo Mum! You're not getting one of those!"

I couldn't have arranged it better myself!

I don't know why D is so embarrassed though. I'm only thinking of him. A trolley will make it far easier for him to carry all of these.

Face slapping

2011-08-02T14:34:00.000+01:00

What is face slapping? What does it suggest? Why is such a non-powerful action (talking controlled slap here, not a real heavy whack across the face that can dislodge fillings, crowns and burst your eardrum) so powerful in suggestion?

My first experience of face slapping was watching some old black and white film where the leading lady slaps the leading man before collapsing in his arms and having his babies. It's very playground isn't it? It's like having the boy who fancies you constantly pulling your pigtails (yes, that actually happened) and punching the boy you really fancy to get his attention (yes, that actually happened too).

Then you realise that it means so much more. Er, no, actually, it really doesn't. You only slap the face of the man you love because punching him in the bollocks isn't going to endear you to him. Oh no, wait. Oh heck.

Whatever it means, I'm pretty sure it doesn't signify Domestic Violence and Hysterical Women. Face slapping is a RomCom cliché in exactly the same way as a snog in the park is. Because it happens, it is natural, it is what we do. Not just Dommes but those other women too. When words just aren't enough what is wrong is relieving your childhood and giving that gorgeous boy a slap around the chops?

Mutual attention is guaranteed. ^_^

D's new friend

2011-08-02T13:46:00.000+01:00

Regular readers will know that I have been promising D his very own shopping trolley for when he's sent to Asda to fetch some groceries.

We've just been to Asda to get some cold meats, a beer for him, some fresh bread and some delicious looking basil and parmesan dip. Whilst queuing at the till a little old lady queued behind us. You should have seen D's eyes light up! She had a lovely little shopping trolley. I quickly swapped places with him to encourage him to start a conversation with her so he could find out a bit more about wind resistance, drag and if she has any problems with pot holes. For some reason he went bright red and extremely bashful, not only that, he refused!

I thought I was being a caring Domme. Looking after your subby isn't as easy as it looks.

Got to go, my lunch is all laid out for me now ^_^

Taking no for an answer

2011-08-02T12:07:00.000+01:00

Why is it that some prospective clients are simply unable to take a polite no as an answer? Like many PDs I am unable to see everyone who applies to see me. For one thing there aren't enough days in the week, but more importantly we clearly aren't suited.

I have a website, or five, that I am assured reflects my personality as well as my style of play. I don't do Bitch Goddess, or Nasty Mistress, or Superior Female because they just aren't me. Acting is all well and good but it is hard work to keep in character. It's far better to play as I am. The closer we stay to the truth, the more real and genuine it will feel, for both of us.

In the same way I also do not play You Tell Me How To Act And What To Do And I'll Do That For You. Occasionally, despite my comprehensive website, and application form someone slips through the net and assumes that he can tell me what to do, how to do it, and follow it up with this, just the way he likes it. Their requests often start with something like this:

Basically, I'd give myself to you totally as a blank canvass but essentially would like the session to include:

Which is then followed up with a large list of specific activities that are more of the fantasy-led variety with the question "Can this be done in one hour?"

Oh dear.

I politely refuse:

I've read this email in dismay and I've read through your form again. I didn't read your form properly and I don't think you read my site properly. How to put this...it's an application form, not an order form.

If you read the Ethos section on my site you will see that I do not perform to somebody else's ideas. I am the dominant, I make the decisions, I decide what we do and when (based on your interests) and so ultimately I'm in charge. I cannot see someone who wants this and that done this way and when.

I'm going to refuse your application because we're clearly not suited.

I have received no less than half a dozen pleadings from him along the lines of:

Hi Mistress

Surprisingly I found no-one else that offers the brevity you do.

Please see me. I beg you.

I will kneel on arrival and give you your tribute. After that I give myself to you wholly, no safe words (gag me to stifle my cries). You can do as you wish.

Please. I implore you. Please.

and

But Mistress, I keep coming back to you. I am drawn to your looks, body and prowess.

Other than frustrating you slightly I assume at perhaps not reading everything fully and in minute detail, I am still not sure why you refused me.

I desparately want to meet you and to please you and make a connection with you. Can't you give me a chance to earn this and then save some of your annoyance and punish me ruthlessly.

and

I'd do absolutely anything to please you. No safe words. Use me as a blank canvass.

The good thing about these pleas is that always prove to me that I was right to refuse them. They also tell me that I am not the only one to receive them. I suspect that many other PDs will recognise the prose.

The other point to make is that this sort of rhetoric tells me one very important thing. He was never going to turn up any way. His fantasy of 'being a blank canvas for a Mistress' is far more important to him than the reality of playing with another human being. This is very clearly a man who has never seen a Mistress or they would know what is possible and what is fantasy.

Either that or he has read those crappy cookie cutter Mistress websites and think we all want you to kneel before our stunning beauty and gasp at our cruel blah blah blah.

Spends

2011-07-31T22:57:00.001+01:00

D gets spends. He gets a set amount each Saturday minus any fines occurred for shoddy tasks or anything else I can think of. A couple of weeks ago we agreed that he needed a bit more because the agreed amount wasn't enough to cover what it really needed to cover.

This week he suggests (with a straight face I might add) that he needs more again because his (already increased) spends don't cover the Sunday night takeaway as well as everything else. Say what!? The whole point of spends is that you budget on what you need, not what you want. Of course, it goes without saying that this doesn't apply to my spending at all. Ever.

When pressed he can't actually list or define what his spends should cover. I think that until he can, and I have evaluated everything for validity, his spends should be suspended until further notice.

Late night thrills

2011-07-30T23:48:00.001+01:00

D has a huge PVC fetish. He likes anything that is shiny and squeaky. He's already bought me a long black PVC trench coat which has actually come in useful just recently with all the rainy weather we have been having.

We like me wearing PVC, and we like him wearing it. We've recently bought him a pink PVC maid uniform and he's just ordered a navy blue PVC trench coat. I've been threatening to buy him a shopping trolley for ages now and had always envisioned one of those tartan ones that little old ladies have. Recently though we've spotted a few in the loveliest, shiniest, thick, glossy PVC.

Apparently some open-minded couples indulge in a bit of porn surfing for sexual titillation at bedtime. The perverts! D is currently looking at PVC shopping trolleys on eBay, with an extra big stiffy. We'll pick one that I may or may not buy him. I'm not telling him if I am or not. I love seeing him blush. When he gets embarrassed his feet start to dance all on their own.

I just thought I'd share that with you.

Our female led relationship

2011-07-27T14:38:00.001+01:00

I love D. He's really responsive to training. He wants to be the best slave he can be and that's just one of the many reasons why I love him.

D is a morning person. I am not. It takes me a long while to come fully awake so he slips out of bed, pads off to his laptop and writes his blog.

He is becoming very adept at blogging whilst cuffed.

Timewasters

2011-07-26T10:32:00.001+01:00

I posted this a while back so you may have read it before.

Ladies and Gentlemen, may I introduce you to a line up of timewasters in their many and varied guises. Some are more obvious than others and some are more devious. Whatever their MO the result is the same: wasted time, wasted effort and varying degrees of damage to a PD's confidence, motivation and livelihood (and will to live).

Mr Chat doesn’t want to make a booking. He has no intention of ever making a booking but he’ll call to have a chat about the session that you will do with him. He will also assure you that he is completely genuine. He will carefully guide the conversation to what he could expect and how you will discipline him. Watch out for heavy breathing and sudden hang ups as he disappears in a puff of spunk (copyrighted to Ms Slide).

Mr No Show makes a booking so that he can discuss with you all of his concerns and worries. He needs you to allay his fears and he likes to talk about how enjoyable sessions are. When he makes the booking he is strangely available on any day, at any time you suggest with no hesitation or time to consult either his memory or his diary. Along with Mr Chat he is very, very genuine. He tells you this at least three times. You have a feeling he won’t confirm and sure enough, he doesn’t.

Mr Confirms will book and, as requested and expected, he will also confirm on the day of the session. He then conducts his usual business knowing that the Mistress will be preparing herself for him. He watches the clock with baited breath and tented trouser as the time draws ever nearer. Look at him, he’s Da Man. He has a Mistress all dressed up and waiting for him. False bookings are often made in his lunch break so he can spend some extra time in the loos.

Mr Cancel is a bit further up the evolutionary scale than Mr Chat, Mr No Show and Mr Confirms. Mr Cancel makes a considered booking in advance. He may then need to call to change the time of the day. With each call he chats a little more. He’s really looking forward to the session, are you? Unfortunately, something very, very important crops up at work and so he has to cancel. He’s terribly sorry. He calls again a few weeks later and re-books. Unfortunately though, he has to cancel again. After several months you realise he has done nothing but book and cancel, book and cancel.

Mr Promise usually contacts you through message boards. He’d love to come and see you but he’s a bit busy at the moment. He contacts you again every few weeks to update you on his busy schedule and the problems he is having with his bank. As soon as it is sorted he will make a booking. Ever so friendly and don’t forget, genuine, he updates you whether you are bothered or not on how much closer he is to making a booking. He never does.

Mr Excuse is Mr Cancels’ cousin. Mr Excuse makes a booking but has to cancel due to so many things going wrong. These things happen don’t they? The MOT on the car was more expensive than they thought so they need to cancel. They have been called in for extra, much needed overtime so they have to cancel. But it is okay because he has let you know in plenty of time so he knows he can rebook at any time...as long as he cancels...even if it is the same day.

Mr One Session has given all of this timewasting a great deal of thought. Mr One Session makes a booking and he does turn up. He will ‘let slip’ how often he likes to session and how much disposable income he has. He has proved he isn’t a timewaster but a very promising regular, so when he books again you accept it with no qualms. Unfortunately he has to cancel a couple of days before. He’s terribly sorry. No problem, these things happen, thanks for letting me know. He soon calls again to rebook. Unfortunately he has to cancel again. Thanks for letting me know. A couple of weeks later he rebooks. The excuses are sounding less and less genuine but he sounds so sincere and he did come before you continue to give him the benefit of the doubt. He rebooks. He cancels. You then find out he is playing the same game with a number of PDs in the same area. He’s well known, has several numbers and a few names. Fortunately for you he can't remember which name he uses with which PD.

Mr Disappears books, confirms, and calls, as arranged, a few minutes before the session starts for final directions. He sounds nervous. He calls to say he has managed to get lost between point A and point B a mere 800 metres distance. You give directions again. No sign. You call. His phone is turned off. You wait, in vain, knowing that the sub eating monster has struck yet again.

Mr Freebie Hunter, otherwise known as Mr Friend may or may not actually book and turn up for a session. He’d rather not though as he is special and different to other subs. If he does he’ll only do it the once to prove he is genuine. Mr Freebie Hunter wants to be friends. He’ll offer to escort you to clubs and parties. He’ll even offer to do chores for you. All for free of course. Because he is special.

Mr Novelty is so off the wall that you can't help but give him the time of day. He likes what? He is into what? Really? How does that work then? He becomes such a regular and amusing timewaster that you give him a nickname, and should you re-list on Serious Mistresses and he doesn't call you actually become quite worried about him.

Mr Couple is a rare breed of timewaster. You can't call yourself a twue PD until you have had a query from a man asking if you see couples. He'd have you talking all about how the session would work if you don't refuse to discuss the possibilities any further until his wife calls you herself. She never does.

Mr Wonga is an odd one. He has stacks of cash and is usually accompanied by a (fake or genuine?) plummy accent. He has specially selected YOU but would you possibly be interested in his particular kink (even though you don't list it, or specifically say you aren't interested). Of course he will pay handsomely, at least three times your usual rate. He draws you in with his cash waving, extreme politeness and genial bonhomie. You don't have the specific kit or clothing? No worries, Mr Wonga will purchase them for you. Despite his educated politeness he cannot take a firm 'No' as an acceptable answer. He regales you further with tales of shopping trips with his previous, but now retired (and unknown) Mistress. Eventually you manage to politely disengage and he reluctantly ends the conversation with a heavy sigh. Exactly 30 minutes later Mr Wonga calls back with an increased offer and further anecdotes about how often he would purchase special items for his last Mistress. The only way to get rid of Mr Wonga is to give in and agree to see him, and sure enough, you never hear from him again.

Mr Special is far too busy, and far too important to waste his valuable time carefully reading your website. Oh no, he'd far rather grab your telephone number and call you to waste your time by asking questions that are already answered on your site, things like your location, your fee, your interests... Mr Special deserves answers! Or he'll ask for an appointment on the day you don't work. He also doesn't see why he should follow the same procedures as everyone else. What do you mean you don't do same day appointments!? He is special! Fill out a questionnaire!!? But he is GENUINE.

Mr Macdonalds thinks all PDs are the same. The only thing that is different is our location. He usually asks for 'the Mistress' and if pressed has absolutely no idea which Mistress he is calling. His scribbled list of telephone numbers don't help him out so he stutters and coughs as he desperately tries to remember a name, any name. Mr Macdonalds is rather bewildered and confused that you don't immediately and gratefully agree to see him.

Mr Calls Back Because He Thinks He's Remembered "Is it Lisa?"

Mr Disaster is plagued with near death experiences on motorways and a never-ending steam of hospital bound relatives. Even his cat is accident prone. You dare not, and wouldn't, say anything other than 'I'm terribly sorry, I understand, please don't worry about it'. It means as well that you will probably accept another booking, after all, he can't possibly have that many grandmothers or car crashes can he? Unfortunately...he does.

Mr Confused. "How much love?"

Mr Wrong End of the Stick. "Do you do sex?"

Mr Insomniac calls between the hours of 1am and 3am depending on what time his local club closes their doors. Inebriated and horny he calls hoping like hell that you don't actually pick up. If you do happen to pick up he either asks you if you are available (what, now!?) or he quickly hangs up. If you don't answer, he calls again, and again until he falls asleep in his pizza.

Mr Quiet. "........" Is he even breathing?

Mr Hang Up Repeatedly *hangs up* Quelle surprise, I answered my phone.

Any resemblance to subs living or dead is purely coincidental

Text Nation

2011-07-26T09:38:00.000+01:00

Hi would it be possible to make an appoiment (sic) please

What is the point of sending that text? Why would he bother?

Yes, it is possible otherwise I wouldn't be in business for very long. Is it possible for him? Until he contacts me via the appropriate manner neither of us will ever know. One text and he's already broken two of my rules and I don't think I have many.

Don't text. Ever.
Complete the compulsory application form.

Unfortunately my inbox is full of these texts. I'm guessing they are sent out en masse on the hope that some Mistress somewhere will reply.

*fap fap fap*

Rearranging

2011-07-24T18:15:00.000+01:00

Now that I have a new bed, a wheelchair and an operating lamp it has become necessary to tidy up and rearrange my clinic. I can't bear clutter or overcrowding and everything needs to look designed and managed rather than plonked or shoved in. It took us hours to assemble the bed which although came with only eight screws, had no instructions. We didn't know which way round the base and wheels went and then we didn't know which way round the mattress frame went on top of the base. We figured that out but realised we'd put the headboard on the wrong end of the bed. We got there in the end. The bed is fantastic. I love it. It comes with a blue rubbery covered pressure relieving mattress which feels lovely on bare skin.

We also cleaned up the operating lamp, crossed our fingers, knocked on wood and plugged in the quite old two pin plug, and turned on the transformer. Brilliant! It works, I'm not electrocuted and my electrics haven't blown up. It's a very imposing and intimidating piece of kit.

To give D a break after lugging the bed and lamp around the room I fitted him into my Posey straitjacket, my new rubber posture collar, Posey restraint straps and left him on the bed with the cot sides up whilst I pottered around tidying up, and shining up my new rubber items. It didn't take long for the snores to start.

Bondage is a funny thing. It can help people drop to sleep almost immediately if they are left alone. It reminds me of swaddling babies up really tight to encourage them to sleep. Tight equals secure and safe.The theory is that this swaddling mimics the time spent in the womb where the baby was safe, secure, warm, nourished and in the later stages of pregnancy became aware of the voice of its mother. How different is this to a sub wrapped up in layers of rubber or leather listening to his Mistress walk around the room periodically checking up on him?

Back home

2011-07-23T18:09:00.001+01:00

I've had a lovely few days away in sunny North Wales but I'm glad to be back home and I can't wait to get into my own comfortable bed tonight for a good night's sleep. For the past few nights I have been waking up convinced that there were mice in the bed, under the bed, or about to run across my face. I could definitely hear squeaking. D thought I was just dreaming because every time I woke him the sound stopped.

It was only when I was listening to him cook my breakfast and heard the same squeaking that I realised it was his handcuffs. His handcuffs squeak. Like a mouse! I've had mice as pets so I know what they sound like: they sound like handcuffs worn by a slave who fidgets in bed and unnecessarily wakes his Mistress, that's what they sound like.

I've had a great few days. D has been extremely attentive and anticipated my every need including cooking, washing up, tidying and fetching anything I need or may want, sometimes before I realise I want or need it. Bless him, he even remembered to bring his blue nylon overall. And his cuffs.

Not only that D carried all my bags when we went shopping.

He's a good boy. He's the sort of man you can take around the shops without all the sulking and sighing that often comes with putting men and shopping together in the same time zone. Actually, thinking on it, all the men I have known who have been excellent shoppers have been submissive...or gay. Hmmm... Something to ponder.

D was so good and attentive during this past week what with all the chores and helping me with my new bed that he thoroughly deserved his spends this week, the full amount, with no fines for bad behaviour or incomplete tasks. Like I said, he's a good boy.

Bye bye bed

2011-07-21T07:57:00.000+01:00

I'm not sure what they are ie gypsy, traveller or scrap dealers but whoever they are they are really good. The bed has been in my back yard for approx 36 hours and now it's gone, collected by a couple of brothers.

I don't know whether it is typical or not, or just indicative as to where I live, or who I live near, but anything I don't want I just leave by the bins. Items such as an old aquarium, an unwanted chip pan, and an unwanted computer desk have all disappeared overnight, presumably to a new home. Who needs Freecycle?

Thank goodness the car is too big to be thrown onto the back of a flatbed.

My holiday so far

2011-07-20T15:52:00.000+01:00

This week I am taking a short break from sessioning. A few days off to recharge my batteries. So far I (ably assisted by D) have:

Collected my new hospital bed (and a mattress and I couldn't resist a rather lovely wheelchair).
Delivered it to my premises where we had to...
...dismantle and load my old hospital bed. This bed is the heaviest bed in the world - fact.
Bring my old bed home and unload it, just in time for...
An operating theatre lamp being delivered from half way across Europe which then had to...
...be carried through my house and loaded up to take to my premises.

We've also gone to Cathouse Clothing to collect my new rubber skirt, and D's new bright pink PVC maid dress (piccies to follow, I promise) and whilst there I was seduced by a couple of those rubber posture corset collars with integrated mouth guard. I have bought one in black, and the other is white with red trim for the medical clinic.

We still haven't assembled the new hospital bed and decided where to put the operating lamp.

So much for a holiday eh?

A new rule

2011-07-19T18:07:00.002+01:00

We have a new rule to add to our already lengthy list. D and I have been on the motorways a fair bit in the last week or so travelling around and collecting new equipment and sometimes it is necessary to stop at the services to grab a bite to eat, get a drink or make use of the loo.

The new rule is that D has to wait on a particular tile or similar outside the loos so I know exactly where to find him when I come out of the ladies. Does that sound bizarre? I have to say at this point that it isn't my idea but I rather like it. I can see potential for a lot of amusement (and obviously some punishment) in the future.

It was D's idea. It was his idea to have to wait in, or rather on, an exact pre-agreed spot. Not this area, or over there but that exact tile, manhole, or stripe, or whatever there happens to be.

Only a slave would come up with that one.

Little reminders

2011-07-19T00:39:00.002+01:00

I love those little mementos that remind you of what you are about, or what it is that you do.

I went shopping for some groceries earlier today, and as I opened my purse to retrieve my debit card I found D's card tucked in amongst all of my cards. His card. In my purse.

I should return it to the cashbox under lock and key along with his other cards and cheque books but I like keeping it with me. It reminds me of him when we aren't together. It reminds me of how I am gradually gaining control of his finances.

Now that is romance.

"What would you do to me Mistress?" aka 'wank hook'

2011-07-18T19:06:00.001+01:00

I'll be honest. My heart sinks when I open up a long winded email from a prospective client. I'm always immediately suspicious of them for a start and I quickly scan read them looking for what I call the 'wank hook'.

The wank hook is the innocent and (not always) subtle question that lurks in the final paragraph after several paragraphs of 'background' that the writer hopes you will respond to.

Could you tell me....?

What procedures do you think....?

Do you think you could take me on.....?

Just in case you, dear reader, are not aware I have a total of five websites. Each website has painstakingly been designed and constructed with every question that I could ever be asked in mind. If there is a question that I have missed, that is completely relevant, and necessary to know at that moment in time, then I will eat my rather fetching top hat and veil. For the past five, or is it six, years I have added answers to my websites for questions that I had missed or not considered. I don't think there is anything else that I could add.

You may not also be aware that I have an extremely well thought out questionnaire that potential clients are invited to complete. I don't ask questions for no good reason. Complete the questionnaire and I will know, usually within seven seconds of opening the questionnaire-generated email, whether I want to see you or not.

If you read my website, any of them will do, but the main one is probably the most revealing, you will know that I am happy to see novices, or that I proficient and experienced enough to guide and coach a novice (to Med Fet and well as BDSM) into enjoying my activities, or even that bearing in mind I have been around for a while now, and am one of the most expensive Pro Dommes outside of London, that is surely just a few indications that I am rather good at what I do.Genuine concerns aside how rubbish could I possibly be?

I don't need to persuade anybody to come and see me. Not only do I not need to but I haven't the slightest inclination to. I have no intention of telling anyone (novice or not) what I would do to him on a first session. This is the wank hook. The question, however dressed up, basically boils down to:

What would you do to me Mistress?

Am I really going to provide wank fodder for someone who has no intention of ever booking an appointment and turning up? I don't think so. Anyone who has ever asked this question has never, in my experience, ever become a regular, and respected client of mine.

Would you email a restaurant to describe your culinary background and explain about your lack of experience of Mexican food to then ask the chef what he would suggest for a first meal? No. You would go to the restaurant, sit down and you would then perhaps discuss with the staff what they would recommend...or you would read the menu for advice!

What would you do to me Mistress?

If you don't apply, using the requested method, and impress me enough to want to see you, you will never ever know.

Short break

2011-07-16T09:48:00.000+01:00

I'm now on holiday until the 25th July. I won't be answering my phone and I probably won't be answering any emails.

Sit!

2011-07-15T23:59:00.002+01:00

Why do mothers teach their sons to pee in a toilet whilst standing up? I watched once, nonplussed, as my friend tried to teach her young son to hang his penis over the edge of the toilet bowl, rather than pee along the rim and splash most of it on the floor, which he then in fact promptly did.

What is this obsession with teaching young boys that standing up is a manly pursuit? Growing up with a father and a brother I was always irked to find the toilet seat left up. I was similarly unimpressed with finding myself surrounded with little yellow spots of urine across the walls and a rusting radiator. Urinals are designed for standing up peeing. They are higher up. The angle is ergonomical. There is no water for the urine to bounce off and all the walls and floors are tiled. Loos are in the home. They are designed for sitting on. They are full of water. The walls and skirting are difficult to clean. The bathroom is used for bathing and cleaning one's teeth. Preferably not with piss covered toothbrushes.

Once, whilst bathing, I watched my then husband urinate into the toilet bowl whilst stood up. I'm fairly sure he was a good shot but still I was horrified to see a shower of spray rise a good couple of feet into the air and around the toilet meaning my walls, cistern, floors and skirting were similarly blessed. Thank god the sink, toothbrushes and toiletries are at the other end of the bathroom.

How do you banish years of being trained to stand whilst peeing from a man's behaviour? You buy a Tetris game and keep it by the loo. Who needs air fresheners, bleach and other assorted scented items to keep your loo smelling clean. Just buy Tetris.

Tetris - banish urine smells and stains forever!

Rogue Traders

2011-07-15T23:07:00.000+01:00

I spend an awful lot of money shopping via the internet. I find it much quicker and easier than actual shopping and of course buying fetish items is so much easier online than traipsing around the country. The problem of course is that you have to base your decision to buy on a small photo and their description.

I recently bought a Hercules fucking machine. I'd been umming and awwing for one for a while constantly changing my mind about whether they were worth the money. A decent machine is a shed load of money so they need to be fantastic.

I'd bought from sexmachines.co.uk before so I had no hesitation in buying from them again. The Hercules was reduced by 55% to £492.75 from £1095. It's an obscene amount of money after the sale but I really wanted one. My first gripe was that it isn't until you get to the checkout that you realise that price is before VAT is added. I'm not entirely sure that is legal, its certainly not cricket in my opinion. Never mind though, I still want it. I also get a free Louisiana Lounger and a massive Kong Dildo is included in the price.

The machine arrived in a box with the Louisiana Lounger. The machine itself had no manufacturer's packaging, no warranty, and no instructions. Not even an assembly leaflet. There were some legs, an upright pole and an arm complete with motor. There was also the power lead and the hand held control box and lead. I assembled the item and tried it out. Fifteen speeds and the machine is extremely adaptable able to be used at all sorts of different angles and heights. Excellent.

Once I took the item to my premises I set about getting a guinea pig to try it out on. This is where the problems started.

1. The power lead drops out of the motor box at the slightest of touches or movements meaning the machine stops. Not good.
2. As soon as the dildo encounters resistance the legs collapse and slide across the floor.

Basically the item isn't fit for purpose and isn't of merchantable quality. I try the item on both carpet and lino and the same thing happens. Collapse and slide. Or just slide. Eventually, like, after a minute the legs collapse. They always collapse. I take the legs apart and try again. Remember, I have no advice, no instructions, no warnings and no assembly diagram.

I try again. The legs collapse. And slide.

Undeterred I wedge the machine between wall and bench so that the item can't collapse and slide. Great. Then I use said item in said sub. As soon as there is any resistance (and of course there would be) the machine stops working and after a couple of attempts (because you have to get the stroke just right, bearing in mind the machine is now wedged twixt wall and bench) the unpleasant aroma of burned out components begins to drift up from the motor.

The machine now has only one speed and the hand held control has stopped working. I haven't paid £591.30 for a piece of rubbish! Oh, hang on, I have.

I immediately email the company to advise them of the faults I have encountered, the problems I have had and the resulting burn out. They ask me to return the arm for a replacement. I'm not happy because the arm was only one of the problems. I ask a friend to look at the item just to check it isn't me who is a numpty. Nope, his conclusion was that the item is a piece of overpriced rubbish that can never work due to the simple law of physics. The item is lighter than a body so it can't cope with any resistance. My sub doesn't have a bucket for an anus and they sent a huge Kong dildo with the item. No amount of preparation or lubricant is going to work with that machine. I realise that now.

Then I have knee problems and am laid up. Then I am poorly with a chest infection. Five weeks after informing them that I am returning the item as faulty I package up the said item and my partner carries it around to the post office. I couldn't have managed it on my own. I email DPB Enterprises to inform them the package is on its way.

Please send just the arm back to us via recorded delivery or Parcelforce so technical can inspect it.

Write on outer packaging this auth code: RMA-55638/K

Once technical can confirm it is a manufacturers fault, we will send you a new Hercules arm.

You contacted nearly two months ago and was given authourisation to send back, we only give 28 days warranty - as such do not have to accept this product - but will still honour this warranty as you did report it within the time period.

Please enclose a copy of your invoice and cover letter out-lining the fault(s).

Say what? Didn't they read my original email. What about the other faults? The loose power lead and the collapsing legs? 28 days warranty? What are they talking about? As far as I understand it if an item is faulty I can return for a full refund or a replacement, I am not obliged to accept a replacement only.

I tell them that I have already returned the item as faulty and not fit for purpose and want a full refund. They respond with:

If you have not written an auth code on outer packaging, the goods will not be accepted and declined from the courier.

You contacted us nearly two months back !, then send back the goods - sorry usually we would not even offer you an exchange, we are trying very hard here to resolve this issue, a refund is not happening, even Argos would send back to manufacturer or offer you an exchange, our products are sold for domestic use only.

Once our tech team take a look and do confirm it's a fault is manufacturers then will either give you a brand new Hercules or you can take another machine of your choice of equal value, the Blue Balls is a good one.

If a company is going to sell goods they really ought to familiarise themselves with the relevant legislation. I haven't used this item for several months and then it's developed a fault. The item was faulty to begin with. One of the faults developed, the other two faults were already there. It was one of those faults and lack of instructions that caused the burn out. My statutory rights were breached because the item wasn't fit for purpose! If my statutory rights are breached I can ask for a full refund.

As for the authorisation code, I'm not sure if they are saying they will accept the parcel or they are going to refuse it. If it is the latter why didn't they mention a code on the first email they returned to me? I'll be damned if I am expected to accept the parcel back to write a code on the label to pay another £36.95 for postage.

I paid for the item on my credit card. I'm hoping they will refund my money and then claim it from DPB Enterprises.

D

2011-07-14T00:29:00.000+01:00

D is my sub. He is also my slave. I'm not entirely sure what the difference is between the terms because everyone has their own definition and take and thus the terms are used interchangeably and well, it all depends on who you talk to. D loves being called my slave and that is the most important thing. D is my slave. I own him. By that I mean I control him. We have great fun.

D was a client. He turned up on my doorstep and we talked, we sessioned, and we discovered that we liked each other very much. At that time I needed a maid to keep my premises clean and I was fed up of doing it myself. I needed someone to dust, vacuum, fill the dishwasher, sweep the floors, clean the bathrooms and do all those boring but necessary tasks whilst I cleaned and polished my equipment and sterilised what needed sterilising.

Time passes and you realise that you're too busy talking and not doing the cleaning! Add that to the time that he has spent in the naughty cupboard for being cheeky, or not doing his job properly, and well, I ended up doing the cleaning myself again. Since starting our personal relationship I kid him that I need to recruit another maid.

So where are we now? Well, we're developing our D/s relationship very nicely. D/s basically means that he does what I say. Our relationship is Female Led which also means that I have the final say. As my slave he does what I say. If he doesn't he is punished.

These are some of our rules:

D is in chastity. This means he is unable to masturbate without my knowledge and permission. When he is with me I may allow him to remove his device. When he is away from me he wears a chastity device.
D's orgasms are controlled by me. This involves an awful lot of denial because I need him to be primed for when I want him sexually. He needs to ask for permission to cum even when we are enjoying intercourse. I may or may not grant him that permission.
He has to wait for permission to sleep in my bed. He may be required to sleep in the cellar.
In bed he wears what I want. This includes nylon housecoat, PVC jacket, various handcuffs, ankle cuffs, various collars in steel or leather and anything else that takes my fancy. He always wears wrist cuffs.
He is given spends which he must earn. His debit card and cheque book is in a tin. I have the key. He needs to use his credit card for work expenses and groceries but other than that everything else must be authorised by me.
He has to ask permission to go to the toilet.
He isn't allowed to sing.
He has to call me Miss, unless we are with family.

His punishments include:

Time in the naughty cupboard - if at my premises.
Time in the puppy cage kept in the coal cellar at home
Time in the cellar chained to the floor or wall.
A good thrashing with a leather belt.
Instant dismissal from my life if he lies, cheats or behaves dishonestly in any way.

Happily D is content to be controlled in every way we can make work in the real world, and I am happy to control him. You have to be practical and you have to be sensible. He needs to work and live a life, and so do I. We both have commitments and duties to family and sometimes we have to behave in a more conventional fashion around our respective children. We joke that Sunday night is vanilla night. That means no handcuffs at bed time and no watching television with him naked, in chains, with an optional plastic bag on his head, wanking to my instructions. But I still get to boss him about. :)

eBay!

2011-07-13T21:27:00.000+01:00

Will someone please close this site down. I have spent far too many pennies on stuff I want, not stuff that I need.

The BBB

2011-07-13T11:34:00.000+01:00

...or Birmingham Bizarre Bazaar to give it it's full name is on this Sunday and I'm taking D. This will be his first introduction to anything on The Scene and my second visit.

I like the BBB. It's a good opportunity to meet up with friends and browse around the fetish stalls run by small businesses who supply the fetish community with all our fetters, shackles and toys. There is usually a demo on some aspect of what we do and there is an after party later on. This usually means that people are either dressed in street clothes, full fetish gear, or anything and everything in between. I can't be bothered to dress up myself. As a professional I dress for sessions, if I go to a play club I may dress in something more dressy, but for what amounts to just meeting friends and a bit of shopping after a long car journey street clothes will do just fine. The older I get the more the fetish clothing matters less to me. More on that another time.

Unfortunately I don't think there will be anything interesting enough to buy at the BBB. Last time I went I was a little disappointed that there wasn't anything new or innovative. It's great for those who are starting off their toyboxes or replacing the basic gear but not for the Mistress Who Has Everything. You never know though. Fingers crossed.

Blogging

2011-07-13T11:14:00.000+01:00

I have no idea how useful this blog will be to me, or how interesting it will be to anyone else. I'm not even sure I will continue with it as I am probably over exposed on other parts of the internet through various forums and websites.

I used to blog when I first started dominating professionally back in 2005. I still have the blog although it was removed from public display a long, long time ago. I cringe when I read it now because I sounded like a child who has just discovered a new toy after never owning a toy before. There is enthusiasm and then there is over-enthusiasm. The internet was new to me, the domination was new to me, and the world had suddenly got ever so big and it was huge, I mean really huge.

Prompted by my burgeoning interest in D/s relationships and Female-led relationships I feel that I need to express my new discoveries.

Oh dear. I have a new toy. :)